When I first started getting into ultras 8 years ago, I could never have imagined being able (or wanting to) run for 6 days straight. But with every race that I ran, I developed a curiosity for just how much further I push my mind and body.

I initially signed up for ATY last year, but had to defer because of a knee injury after running Canal Corridor 100. Then, a DNF because of severe nerve pain at Vernal Equinox 48 Hour Race in March pushed me to re-examine why I chase these big goals. What I learned throughout the ups and downs of the past year and at ATY is that during your darkest moments, you have two choices. You can either quit or you can keep believing that your dream is worth the fight.

Day 1

I lined up at the start/finish line at the Peoria Sports Complex in AZ just before 9am with my mom and sister, who were running the 100 mile race at ATY. We would be running a 1.4 mile, mostly concrete and dirt path loop. I had 144 hours to run as many loops as I could before Saturday at 9am.

The goal for day 1 was to not overdo it. To manage the race and just knock out some miles. I passed through the aid station frequently to fill up on Gnarly Hydration and grab food. Every 5 hours, I stopped at my tent to work on foot maintenance. I would clean my feet with baby wipes and alcohol, re-lube with Salty Britches and change my shoes and socks. The process was tedious, but necessary if I was going to make it to day 6! 

Night 1

The day went by in a blur and soon we were headed into the night. I’m used to pushing through exhaustion at night during a 100 mile race, and I started to take the same approach here. This was mistake #1! My eyelids felt heavy around midnight but I kept going.  When I finally laid down in my tent later that night, I couldn’t sleep. There was a loud windstorm going on outside which kept me awake. My body and mind felt wired so I got back up after very little rest and kept going. 

Day 2: 68 Miles

I was at 68 miles  at the start of day 2 at 9am. The heat started to set in around 11am. I kept pushing, alternating hiking loops with my mom and Heather and running loops with other 6 day runners. 

Around mid day, I stopped by my tent to grab a handful of peanut m&m’s. On my way back out to the course, I tripped and fell hard onto the concrete, skinning my elbow and knee. I picked myself back up, prepared to just brush it off, but realized quickly how much that had actually hurt. That’s when it set in just how exhausted I had become.

I stopped by my parent’s RV to get cleaned up. Dave and my daughters, Elle and Maeve, had just arrived for the morning, and I could tell that the girls didn’t know what to make of seeing me like this. It was only day 2, I was already crying, bleeding and in a very dark place. I ended up sitting in the RV for an hour to rest and get out of the heat. Luckily, I was able to close my eyes and get about 45 minutes of sleep. 

Later that evening on Day 2, I saw my Dad sitting out next to the course. I stopped and told him that I was overwhelmed and struggling with how to mentally approach the rest of the race. He told me that I needed to start disassociating from what I was doing, to start thinking about something else that could occupy my mind. In a loop race of this length, sometimes you have to put your mind somewhere else. I turned on a light hearted podcast and moved forward without worrying about what the next few days would hold for me. 

Overall, I carried so much fear with me on day 2. I was already tired, banged up and was also developing some very painful blisters in between my toes and on the ball of my foot. Little things were starting to agitate my mind. This was just the beginning though. There would be so many more times throughout the week that I would question why I didn’t just sign up for one of the shorter races.

Day 3: 118 miles

Day 3 started off much better! I ended up getting 2 more hours of sleep in my tent overnight and was starting to feel more settled. I spent many loops walking with Shelly, a new friend that I had met on the course. We set a good pace and the loops flew by. We checked the aid station every hour or so to see what they had set out for us and kept moving with our food.

 I stopped at my tent in the early afternoon to work on cleaning and re-lubing my feet, just as the heat began to set in again. The air in AZ is much dryer than I’m used to and my tent was basically a sauna. I blew my nose and the next thing I knew, I had a massive bloody nose. It was as if I had turned on a faucet. I covered my face with baby wipes as I ran down to my parent’s RV. I ended up sitting for an hour and a half to get my body to calm down. Around 4pm, I felt much better. Dave and the girls arrived back at the race with a smoothie for me and I headed back to walk the loop and drink my smoothie. 

Throughout the rest of the afternoon, a deep ache started to settle into my legs.  I called Dave and told him how much pain I was in. He told me something that changed my thinking. He said that I had worked very hard over the past few days to get to this place of pain. I needed to accept it and enjoy it, because it might be a long time before I would be in this position again. 

Day 4: 163 Miles

Day 4 was New year’s Eve and there was a lot to look forward to! The last man standing race would be starting at noon. Watching those runners compete would give us something else to focus on. At midnight, there would be a New year’s toast followed by a community loop.  It was slightly cooler today and I joined Shelly for more loops and socialized with many other runners on the course. At the start of the day, I was exhausted and we started to feel loopy from the lack of sleep. But there were moments when I was able to find lightness in the situation and actually laugh with the other 6 day runners at the absurdity of it all.

Throughout the day, the soles of my feet were throbbing with pain from the nonstop pounding on the concrete. I agonized over it for a while until someone else mentioned that Mount to Coast was letting runners borrow shoes! I had been alternating with about 6 other pairs of running shoes, but they each seemed to have a flaw. My Salomon’s put pressure on my pinky toes. The New Balance didn’t have enough cushioning. The Brooks irritated the blister on my heel, etc. I stopped at the Mount to Coast table and they put me in a pair of H1’s. They were a full size larger than I usually wear and had plenty of cushion. One problem was solved for now.

The next stop for the day needed to be to the locker room for a shower. I hated to take the time. But I knew that it could alleviate some persistent and very uncomfortable chafing issues that had been developing over the past 2 days. I grabbed my towel and walked the half loop to the shower. It felt like a fresh start and ended up being worth the time ad effort. 

Night 4

Around 10 pm, I decided to lay down and take a two hour nap before meeting up with some new friends for the NYE toast at the start/finish line. I laid down in my tent and tossed and turned. There were loud fireworks going off nearby and I couldn’t get my mind to slow down. By the time my alarm went off at 11:45pm, I hadn’t slept at all. Sleeping on the cot was no longer working for me. I would lay on one side and then a few minutes later, that hip would start to ache. I would turn over and the other hip would start to hurt. 

When I got up, it felt like I was in a fog. We jogged to the start/finish and had cheese, grapes and sparkling juice before the countdown to the new year. We walked a few loops together and I tried to briefly lay down for another attempt at a nap. I was in an and out of sleep and it wasn’t very restful. Once again I felt extremely agitated by every little thing. I was headed for another low point going into day 5. The rest of the night on the course was rainy and oddly quiet. So I turned on some music and tried to clear my mind and enjoy the darkness. 

Day 5: 208 Miles

Day 5 started out quite a bit cooler than the other days. I tried to keep moving forward at a decent pace. I made frequent stops at the aid station to get pancakes, cereal, egg burritos, smoothies or whatever else the amazing volunteers were putting out for us! Around 1pm though, I started getting very hungry, despite continuously eating. I couldn’t keep up with the calorie deficit and I could feel the dark thoughts starting to creep in. I was hitting another low and there wasn’t much that I could do about it. My feet and legs were aching and once again, I felt overwhelmed and overtired. I also started feeling a sharp pain in the top of my foot that appeared out of nowhere.  

I stopped at the RV and my Dad told me that I need to start sleeping more if I wanted to get through the rest of the race. First, I decided to soak my feet in cold water. Unfortunately, that only made them throb with pain. Dave gave me 2 ibuprofen and told me to lay down for an hour.  

I headed back out to the course with the plan to run/walk/shuffle loops until I could no longer stand the discomfort, and then stop back at the RV for another short nap. I repeated this pattern throughout the rest of the day. The first 1-2 loops felt great! I was running again and in good spirits. But that high would wear off and I would shuffle slowly for 5-10 more miles.  I stopped in at the aid station every loop or 2 for a cup of Coke or food and the volunteers lifted my spirits with their kind words and smiling faces. 

 At some point during day 5, without even realizing it, my mindset shifted. I started to think about the miles merely as numbers instead of distance. It wasn’t 8 miles in between breaks. It was just 234, 244, 245 and so on. This was a subtle change, but as the miles accumulated, it felt less overwhelming to my exhausted mind. This was just one of the ways that I felt my mind adapting to the situation. The mind’s ability to continuously adapt and respond to difficult circumstances is what intrigues me about running even further.  

Night 5: 227 Miles

Throughout night 5, every few hours I would get back in the RV and my Dad and their 3 legged dog, Haley, would get up. My Dad would make me mac and cheese or mashed potatoes and Haley would give comfort and make sure I was ok. Then I would take a short nap in the recliner. I felt revived every time I headed back out. These are the best memories I have of the race. 

When I was running throughout night 5, there was so much pain and discomfort, but I would turn on my music and look up at the dark sky and reflect on everything that I had been through to get here. Day to day life can be stressful and chaotic. So rarely are we able to just sit in a moment. This sense of peace and clarity that I felt on night 5 and 6 was worth every painful step. I think about this daily and despite the discomfort, I actually miss being out on the course running day after day.

Day 6

At the start of Day 6, there was a lighter feeling in the air. Only 24 hours to go!  I continued with my plan of moving for 8 to 10 miles and then taking a short nap. Again, the first few loops of the cycle, I felt great! I would be running again and was in a great mood! But then a few loops later, I was in a world of pain and moving slowly around the course. It was a continuous rollercoaster of emotions.

Dave arrived in the morning with Elle and Maeve and they showed up with a box of donuts. I sat and ate 3 or 4 donuts and then they decided to join me for a loop. The girls were excited to be there and ran ahead of us saying that they wanted to train for their own races after this. Dave also said that he felt inspired and signed up for his own 48 hour race in March! 

Throughout day 6, I stopped taking care of my feet and chafing  because I knew that I could push through anything for 24 hours. The day was hot again but I just kept thinking about how the next day I would be back at the Air B&B resting and recovering. I needed to make the most of my last day. 

Last night of the race

Around 10pm, I stopped in the RV. My mom got up and made me some mashed potatoes and I sat in the recliner to sleep.  I woke up less than 2 hours later. I laid there for a moment and contemplated not getting up. Could I be ok with the 270ish miles that I had already put in? It would have been easier to go back to sleep and forget about my goals, but I knew in that moment that I couldn’t give up on myself. I had come too far. I peeled myself out of the recliner and retied my shoes, making sure that my timing chip was secure for the last time. Stepping back out onto the nearly empty course, I knew that I had to give every ounce that I had left before the 144 hours was over. 

I headed straight to the aid station, chatted with the volunteers and grabbed some cinnamon roll pancakes with frosting to go. I encouraged every runner that I saw. I passed the twinkling lights, the 2 baseballs fields and shuffled through tent city. I stopped at the same bathroom that I had stopped in multiple times a day and just kept moving forward. I became overwhelmed with emotion more than once.  I checked my group texts with 3 of my best friends and they reminded me that they were proud of me and that I could do anything. This propelled me forward. I stopped at the aid station for hot chocolate every other loop to give myself something to move towards. 

The Finish

I felt such a deep ache in my legs and feet, but also I felt so much gratitude. Not everyone gets the opportunity to push themselves to their complete physical limits, only to discover that there is no limit. In the morning Dave showed up with Elle and Maeve and he walked my last loop with me. As soon as I saw the finish line I sobbed with relief, joy and sadness that it was over. 289.2 miles. 144 hours. 7th place women. 

Post Race

I’m still processing this experience. At times, I’m still not even sure how I actually did it. During those dark hours when it felt impossible, I just refused to give up on myself. There were so many times throughout the race that I would call Dave and say “this is really hard.” But even in the midst of those lows, I reached somewhere deep inside and found the will to keep picking myself up and going out for another loop.

It has taken me almost a full month to fully recover from the race. This experience has changed me. It has opened my mind even further to what is possible. I’ll be back at ATY in 2027, aiming for 350+ miles. Right now, I’m focusing on rebuilding the foundation. More weights, more speed work to become an even stronger version of myself. In May I’ll be getting back to the trails at Mohican to face a new set of challenges.