I have been thinking about the 200 mile distance ever since I started running hundreds in 2019. I knew that eventually I would run this distance, but first I had to do the work and learn the lessons. Five years and eight 100+ mile races later, I signed up for ATY 200. The race is run around a 1.4 mile dirt/paved course in Glendale, AZ. They offer multiple timed races and distances from the marathon all the way up to a 6 day race.

Training

Training started out very strong. I was consistent and was working my way up to a goal of 90 miles per week. My plan was derailed though. Five weeks before the race, I was out for an easy run and strained my calf. It was a freak accident, and I immediately worried that my race would be in jeopardy. I gave myself about an hour to panic, and then I reached out to my PT. We scheduled an appointment and he got me started on an aggressive strength program to get my calf strong enough to withstand 200 miles. I have never done so many variations and reps of calf raises in my life! Every day, I woke up and told myself to find a way to keep training. It was a real test of my dedication and mental strength to keep pushing forward when everything felt so uncertain. I focused on walking 8-10 miles a day and lifting 4-5 times per week. I had many sleepless nights wondering if my calf would be ready. Looking back, I think that this is the best thing that could have happened to me.

Pre-race

We arrived to check into the race and set up my tent on Wednesday, December 27th. There were rows of tents with cots that could be rented out for the duration of the race. This would be my home base for the next few days. The night before the race, I slept about as well as could be expected. We woke up at 7am, got ready and arrived 30 minutes before the start of the race. The 200 mile runners had the option of starting anytime from Thursday until Saturday with the cutoff being 9am on Wednesday, January 3rd. I chose to start on Thursday so I wouldn’t have to worry about the cutoff. As we walked up to the starting line, my Dad mentioned that he was thinking of signing up for one of the races. I encouraged him to do so, saying that it would be fun to be out there together.

Thursday, December 28th- Day 1 (76 miles, 1 hour of sleep)

The gun went off right at 9am and we started off slowly knowing it would be a long couple of days. The majority of the runners starting on Thursday were in the 6 day race. The sun was out, but it was still only about 50 degrees and fairly cool. I chatted with a few people throughout the loop. Once I got around to the start/finish line, I ran into my Dad who said that he had signed up for the 100 mile race(!). This would be his first hundred in 17 years. He didn’t have any gear other than a worn out pair of running shoes and a pair of hiking shoes with him, and hadn’t done any specific training for the distance! I took it one loop at a time, spent some time walking with my Dad and ate regularly. My Dad went back to his RV for a nap after a few hours and I started running with a seasoned 6 day runner, Mikey. He held a very steady run 1 minute/walk 1 minute pace. I stuck with him for several loops asking tons of questions about how to manage my race. He had so much helpful advice about starting easy on day one, getting enough sleep and managing foot care. I tried to take it all in!

Right around 35 miles, I started noticing that I had a hot spot forming on the inside heal of my foot. Soon after, I accidentally kicked the corner of the concrete which also pushed an already fragile big toenail back causing a blister to start forming underneath the nail. On the advice from several other runners, I stopped into the medical tent to see if they could fix my blisters. They had trouble getting the tape to stick to my feet though so I pulled off the tape. I knew that if it wasn’t taped correctly, it would just cause more problems.

Night 1

My sister arrived around 9pm and at around 50 miles in. We decided that it would be best if we tried to tape up my feet on our own. In the darkness of my tent, we used the foot kit that I had bought and did our best to tape it up. Not much could be done for my painful big toes though since there were already blisters forming underneath both toenails. I wrapped both big toes in tape, so I at least wouldn’t have to look at them and went back out. I learned quickly that even though the temperature was hot during the day, as soon as the sun goes down, it gets cold fast. I layered up, and kept moving forward. At midnight, I was able to pick up my sister to start pacing me. We alternated running and walking throughout the night. We stopped at the aid station after several loops, checking to see what kind of food they had put out. Every few hours they had a new meal which gave me something to look forward to! My Dad came back out to join us for a while and we kept a steady pace throughout the early morning. Around 4am, Heather went home to get some sleep. I continued on for another hour before deciding to take a hour nap on my tent at about 70 miles in.

Friday, December 29- Day 2 (60 miles, 2 hours of sleep)

When I woke up at 6am, I felt revived! I grabbed some pancakes with nutella at the aid station and eased into the loop as I watched the sun rise. After every break, it took about a loop to get my feet used to the pounding again. My blisters felt raw and my feet ached. After a loop or so though, the pain started to lessen and I could start to run again. By 9 am, and the end of day 1, I was at 76 miles. The next round of races was starting just as we were changing directions. Each day started to follow the same pattern. I found some comfort in this.

Around mid morning, my hip started to lock up. It was very painful to walk and run. I decided to take a short break to take care both my hip and my feet. I knew that I couldn’t keep going until I started to take care of myself. I stopped in the warming tent at 10am for a 15 minutes body work appointment with Andre, who was providing massage for the runners while also running the 100 himself! My next stop was to the medical tent again. They couldn’t drain my blisters because of liability issues so I did that myself and they cleaned it with alcohol and put some tape over it. I felt great for the next several loops! My hip had loosened up and my feet started to feel better. I was running again and taking advantage of this high while my body felt ok and I was in good spirits!

This wouldn’t last long though. Around mid day, I started to hit another low point. The middle of each day was when I struggled the most. The heat started getting to me and I started to question why I was out there. Why didn’t I just run the 100 mile race? My friends (Jess, Santina and Kristen) had started a group text chain to encourage me throughout the race and they sent me memes, quotes, encouraging messages to keep me going during the low. The soles of feet started to ache again. I could feel new blisters forming and my left hip was starting to lock up again. I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep going with my hip feeling this bad. I called Dave with tears in my eyes and told him how miserable I was feeling. He talked me through it and I just kept telling myself to find a way to keep moving forward.

100 miles into the race

A few hours later, Dave came back with a cheeseburger and 2 new larger pairs of shoes from the running store! I sat in my chair and ate while he went to work fixing my new blisters. He has had a lot of practice at this from my previous races so I knew that this tape job would stick. My two daughters, nieces and nephews all gathered around to watch him drain my blisters, declaring that they never wanted to do this sport because they didn’t want someone sticking needles in their feet! Haha! About 10 minutes later, I got up and continued on the loop.

We had decided that as soon as I hit 100 miles, I would lay down for another nap. The halfway mark and the promise of sleep kept me going! At about mile 98, my friend Aum and I started running together and he said that he wanted to run me into my 100 mile loop. We both picked up the pace to about 11 minute miles and the distraction and conversation lifted me up. I hit 100 miles in about 33 hours. Unfortunately, the timing mat didn’t pick up the loop so Dave had to show the timers the time stamped photo that he had taken of me crossing the mat and they were able to make the correction. I felt great so I ran 2 more loops with Aum before stopping in my tent for a nap. I was on a huge high filled with excitement when I tried to lay down so it took me probably 20 minutes to calm myself down and actually fall asleep.

Night 2

At 6:30pm, I was up again and ready to get going. I dressed in my warm clothes since the sun had set and it was chilly again. I eased into the loop, waiting for my feet to go numb. The goal was to get to 130 miles and then take another nap. There weren’t many people out on the course, so I put in my headphones and just enjoyed running in the darkness alone. Around 10pm though, my eyes started to get heavy again and the negative thoughts started to creep in. I texted back and forth with my friend Santina and she reminded me to drink some coke and keep eating candy to help me stay awake. I just had to get to midnight and then Dave could start pacing me. She challenged me to get in 4 more loops before midnight. It was the push that I needed. I put my head down and started willing myself forward again, counting my steps to distract my mind from the pain. 100 steps of running. 100 steps of walking. Repeat.

Finally, it was midnight. I got some more food and then Dave went out on a loop with me. He had been having some IT band pain, so we agreed that it would be best if he just did every other loop. We would run a loop together and then I would try to do another loop and get back as quickly as I could. I started to keep track of how long it would take me to get back and my pace picked up. Around 2am though, my eyelids started getting really heavy again. I was out running a loop on my own and another runner said my name. I jolted awake, realizing that I had fallen asleep while running! As soon as I got back to the start/finish, I told Dave that I needed to take a 5 minute nap. We went into the warming tent, I put my feet up on a chair and rested my head on the table. Dave set his alarm for 5 minutes and I was asleep immediately. This continued on. I would run a few loops, take a 5 minute nap and then head back out again. Finally at 3:30am and 125 miles, I told him that this wasn’t productive anymore. I needed to lay down to sleep. Dave got me tucked into my sleeping bag in my tent and set my alarm for 5:15am. I was out immediately.

Day 3 Saturday, December 30 (64 Miles)

It was tough to get myself up and moving again in the cold but I felt motivated and determined to reach my goal. By today, I was in a schedule. As soon as I was out on the course again at 5:30am, I headed to the aid station for my pancakes with nutella. I took them to go and walked the loop to get my feet warmed up. I watched the sun come up and was amazed at how good I felt after getting 2 hours of sleep! I felt full of gratitude to be out here with all of these like minded people. These were some of my fastest loops of the race. I kept pushing myself harder and harder. I was riding another high and wondered how fast I could go with this many miles on my legs. I felt limitless. My legs were tired and heavy but I felt like I could run forever. It’s this feeling that I wont forget. It’s also this feeling that has me convinced that I can run so much further. By the end of day 2 at 9am, I had covered 60 miles in the second 24 hours of the race.

The next milestone of the day would be 141 miles. This would be a mileage PR for me. Dave decided that I should get to 141 and then take a shower at the nearby shower facilities near the parking lot. I didn’t want to waste the time but he assured me that I would feel much better after a shower and make up the lost mileage. The sun came up quickly today and it was the warmest day yet, around 80 degrees. I was moving really well, continuously running loops while trying to stay up on my electrolytes and hydration. Finally at mile 141, I rang the bell for my new PR, a tradition at Across the Years! I walked the few extra steps off the course and Dave drove me 50 yards to the showers. (We were allowed to leave the course as long as we enter at the exact same place). The water cooled me down and was a welcome break. However, all of the bandages on my feet came off and I was forced to finish the next loop with exposed blisters which wasn’t a lot of fun.

After the loop, we once again drained my blisters and bandaged up my feet. I headed back into the warm afternoon sun. I tried to tell myself that this would be my last afternoon out here racing. By the next day at this time, I would be back at the hotel. Time is relative. While you’re out there, it’s almost as if time stands still. But before you know it, it’s over and life has moved on. I always keep this in the fore front of my mind. At 3:20 pm and 149 miles, I decided to get out of the heat for an hour to rest. It was loud and hot in my tent but my feet were very swollen and it was nice to put them up for a few minutes.

150 Miles into the race

Once back out on the course, I continued to run loops. It was starting to cool down a little. At this point in the race, it felt better on my sore feet and hips to run than it did to walk. I started to feel my calf cramping up around mile 150. This made me very nervous since I had just overcome a calf strain in the opposite calf. Luckily, I saw Andre out on the course and asked him if I could get in for another 15 minute massage. At around 5pm, just as the sun was starting to set, I stopped at the aid station for some dinner. They had pumpkin pie which tasted amazing and I ended up having 4 pieces while sitting in the warming tent. These little luxuries mean a lot more when you are running on a loop for 3 days straight!

Andre worked on my calves for 15 minutes which were extremely sore to the touch! He instructed me to walk the next loop to ease back into it. At around 6pm, mile 158, I stopped back at the start/finish line to see my Dad finish his first 100 miler in 17 years! We cheered and took pictures. It was such memorable moment for the whole family. After a few minutes though, I had to continue on to start making a dent in the last 50 miles of my race. After that loop, I felt amazing. I’m sure this had something to do with all the food I had eaten as well as the massage. I shuffled and ran some loops chatting with Aum and Andrew and was in a great mood. The highs seemed to get higher and the lows got lower as the race went on. But I was able to keep adjusting my strategy.

Night 3

The end was in sight. I watched the sun set as I ran, knowing that would be the last time. A weight lifted and I started to really push myself. Dave was there to crew me overnight and we developed a plan. Run 2 loops hard and then I could get warm food from the aid station and sit in the warming tent for 5 minutes. His IT band was still not feeling great so we decided that I would be on my own for the loops but he would be there to make sure that I was in and out in 5 minutes. Some loops, I elevated my feet and ate. Other loops, I laid my head down and slept for 5 minutes. These 5 minute breaks gave me something to look forward to and made the last 40 miles feel less overwhelming. Also, giving myself those few minutes to get warm was the small dose of comfort that I needed. I pushed hard on these loops and would usually find a 6 day runner to spend the time with. The people that were out on the course had amazing stories from all of the races they had run! While running with a 6 day runner who was telling me about his amazing adventures over the years, my nose started gushing blood out of nowhere! It freaked me out, and also let me know that maybe it was time for a rest. I got back into my sleeping bag at the end of the loop and set the alarm for an hour and a half. It took me a while to calm down, but I do think I eventually fell asleep. By 3:25am, I was back out on the course. We had allotted more time for rest, but an hour and a half was enough and I got up quickly knowing that I had promised my daughters that I would be done in time to spend NYE with them. The miles passed by slowly as I shuffled along. I went from very cold and shivering to hot and sweaty and back again. I was having trouble regulating my body temperature at this point.

Day 4

At 7:15am, at mile 186, I laid down for one last short nap. Dave went back to the hotel and I slept in my tent for about an hour and 15 minutes. When my alarm went off, I couldn’t believe that this experience was almost over. It wasn’t easy to pull myself out of the comfort of my sleeping bag. But I was ready to finish what I had started. I texted my friends that I was headed back out to finish the race and they sent me more encouraging messages. For the last time, I went to the aid station, grabbed my pancakes with nutella and eased into the loop. I watched the sun come up as I ran, marveling what I had endured to get to this point. The emotions started to come up as I hit 190 miles. I pushed them down because the job wasn’t finished yet. I repeated to myself over and over, “the further you go, the stronger you feel”. What we say to ourselves matters. If you tell the body it is strong, I promise, even after 190 miles, it will respond.

At 9am on day 4, the next set of races started and the course was filled with people again. I tried to soak in each lap, reflecting on what I had done here. I pushed myself as hard as I could in those last 10 miles. My quads burned and my feet ached but I knew that I could find more. I held back tears during that last loop, running as hard as I could. When I turned the corner into the start/finish that last time, I let the tears finally come out. I crossed the finish line and sobbed. I was overcome with the emotion of everything that I had battled through to get to this finish line. Five years of consistent work. Early mornings, long miles alone, and the unwavering belief that I could achieve this dream. I hugged my kids, my nieces and nephew, and my husband, completely overcome with the emotion that I had held in for more than 3 days. I had just run 200 miles and I had more than exceeded my own expectations. I never could have imagined that I would be running all the way up until the end of this race, or that I would end up placing 2nd female and 4th overall.

Post Race Thoughts

First, running 200 miles broke me down. And then it broke me open. It forced me to find a way to keep going when it was painful, when I was beyond exhausted, and in those dark moments when I wasn’t sure if I could. But on the other side of those dark hours were moments of clarity where I was fully present and felt limitless. The rollercoaster of these highs and lows were more extreme than anything that I have experienced during a race, and it taught me so much.

It’s been said that we are a culmination of the people that we spend the most time with. In my 73 hours at ATY, this running community made me believe that I am capable of more. There were runners of all ages (up to the age of 91!) coming together to push their boundaries. I know that I’ll be back next year for even more loops in the 6 day race. In the meantime though, I’ll be doing everything within my power to become the kind of person that can run 300 miles.

Breakdown of the Race

What we did right:

Nutrition. I ate constantly throughout the race. When they put out a meal, I grabbed food and took it with me as I walked a loop. In between meals, I ate the food that I had brought (Honey Stinger Oat bars, Powerbar PowerGels, Peanut Butter M&M’s and Cheeze- its).

Hydration. I tried to drink one 18 ounce bottle of water per hour during the day and alternated plain water with either Skratch Hydration or Naak Hydration. At night, I sipped on plain water as needed and took a few electrolyte pills.

What we could improve on:

Foot care. I didn’t address my hot spots and blisters early enough and had to deal with them for the entire race. Next time, I’ll practice how to bandage my blisters more effectively and tape my feet going into the race.

Sleep. Now I know that taking an extra hour pays off with faster miles. We sorted this out by day 3 and I felt amazing.

Going into Vernal Equinox 48 Hour this year, I had my mind set on running 150+ miles. Last year I ran 130 miles in dry but cold conditions. Since then I have trained both harder and smarter. I spent the majority of my training runs running through rain, snow and freezing temperatures early in the morning. All to strengthen my mind in preparation for this race. I knew that I had done what it would take to reach my goal.

Leading up to race day, I saw that there was going to be some rain so I prepared by buying 2 heavy duty rain coats and packing about 10 pairs of socks just in case. I have always loved running in the rain so I was excited for the possibility, which is ironic now looking back!

Race Day- Friday Morning 7am

When we got to the race, it was already raining steadily. We started off at an easy pace and I found another runner to talk to for the first few loops. Even right at the beginning of the race, the course was already covered in water and mud! Dave and the girls headed back to the hotel soon after my first loop. I settled into a steady pace and focused on being present and not thinking about the two days ahead of me. The rain stopped briefly and we just kept moving forward. This went on for most of the morning. It would downpour for a while and then the rain would slow down. Throughout the morning, I chatted with other runners, spent some loops on my own, and focused on getting in enough food. My hamstrings were a little sore on and off from running through the mud. But within the first 15 miles, they seemed to loosen up and adapt to the conditions.

I got through 32 miles and finally decided to give myself a reward for hitting the 50k milestone (thanks to a friend who gave me this tip!). I pulled out my headphones and turned some music on which was a nice distraction. But after each lap, the course became more and more muddy. I worked on keeping a steady intake of food and tried to manage any issues as they came up. I wanted to to push through and ignore potential foot and chafing issues. But Dave kept reminding me that I this was a 2 day race, and I couldn’t just ignore some of these issues like I usually do in a hundred. 

Mile 46- Race delay #1

As I was out on my mile 46 lap, and I heard an announcement being made. The rain started coming down even harder and I could hear the thunder rolling in. My instinct was to start pushing harder to get through the loop. I saw the runner in front of me turn around to head back as the sky started to light up.  I turned around with him and headed back to my horse stall to wait. 

The race directors, Nettie and Jennifer, told us that they would be pausing the race until the storm passed. As I waited, I worried about what the trail would now look like after more water was dumped on it. I knew that this was precious time and I shouldn’t waste it. So I refilled my water bottles, had a snack and tried to clean my feet and let them dry out while I had the time. I was also starting to worry about some potentially race ending chafing issues that had started to get worse from all of the water so I did my best to deal with that as well.

I sat down for 5 minutes to rest and before I knew it, everyone was heading back to the starting line to go out again. It was still raining but the storm had passed us for now. Back out on the trail, the mud had gotten much worse! There was water everywhere and the one downhill on the course was a mud slide. I did my best to grab onto trees for support at the top of this hill and then sort of slid down the rest of the way. Throughout the next few laps, I kept thinking about the possibility of another storm coming in during the night so I really tried to push myself hard through the water and mud. I knew that I would probably feel this in my legs on Saturday though.

Mile 50

Around 8:30pm, I hit 50 miles. It was around this time, that I mentioned to Dave that I was having some pain in my shins. It wasn’t anything that I couldn’t run through, but it was pretty constant.  Our original plan was to get in 50 miles under 12 hours, but with even the delay and all of the mud, I still wasn’t far off of the plan. I took a short break to eat some mac and cheese for dinner. I changed into my clothes for the night, we changed my socks, cleaned and re-lubed my feet. Then I switched to a hydration vest and stocked up on snacks. The idea was that I would go straight through all night with as few stops as possible. 

My family left for the night since the girls were exhausted and starting to complain. I was excited to see what the night held for me. I managed to keep my mind in a good place, put my head down and just kept relentlessly moving forward. After each loop, I would grab what I needed and then immediately head back out. Before I knew it I was hitting 60 miles and heading back in from another loop. The wind had really started to pick up and as I crossed the start/finish line, a volunteer let me know that everyone was being pulled off of the course because there was a severe storm headed our way. 

Mile 60- Race Delay #2

Mile 80

My parents arrived in the morning right around the time that I hit 80 miles. They set up their chairs in front of my stall and cheered me on each time I passed which gave me a boost of energy. It was about this time though, that my legs began to feel completely trashed from trudging through the mud the day before. There was just no energy in them. The pain in my shins would come and go. It would feel sharp for a while and then it would die down to a dull ache. When it was bad though, it made me feel sick to my stomach. On top of feeling nauseous from the pain, I also started to feel very agitated from the music I was listening to. I became very aware of the 5 pounds of mud that I was carrying around on my shoes. The weather started to warm up throughout the morning and it felt strange to be running in good weather. I felt too warm and then too cold. Every loop I was stopping to either shed a layer or add a layer. I just couldn’t seem to get into a good rhythm. I’m pretty sure that this had a lot to do with the exhaustion that was starting to feel all consuming.

Mile 90

Dave and the girls arrived around 10am which again put a smile on my face. I continued to shuffle around the course, stop for a minute to grab food and then continue on. At some point though, I came through the start/finish and I could feel tears in my eyes. I had no idea why I was crying. All I knew was that I was completely exhausted, in a lot of pain and I still had at least 20 more hours of running. The winds were really picking up, my hat kept blowing off of my head and I could’t stop crying. I knew this was something that I had to work through on my own. I finally just got annoyed with the exhaustion and the emotions and started running through the pain as hard as I could. By the time I made it back around to my family 2 miles later, I was happy again!  These long races can be a roller coaster of highs and lows and you have to be willing to work through it to find the other side. If you get caught up in it and start to believe the lies that your mind is feeding you, your race is most likely over.  

Mile 100

One of the high points throughout the race was that the 48 hour runners developed a camaraderie that you can only get through shared experience. We were out there together enduring the rain, storms and wind all day on Friday. As we passed each other on different sections of the course on Saturday, we cheered each other on and commiserated over how wrecked our legs felt on day two. This was honestly one of my favorite outcomes of the entire race.

I hit 100 miles around 12:30 pm. Instead of stopping to celebrate, my Dad found me and pushed me to go out for another loop. We walked the the next 2 loops together which helped to keep me focused. Once at 104 miles, I stopped in the stall again, ate some more mac and cheese for lunch, had a quick shoe change, closed my eyes for 5 minutes in my chair. Then Dave kicked me out of the stall again and back out onto the course. I knew that at this point, I was first place female and third overall. But I also knew that there were others that may be closing in on me. I tried to count my steps to move faster. 1,2,3,4….all the way up to 100 steps of shuffling. Then 100 steps of hiking.  I counted my steps for hours and hours during this race! 

Mile 110- 1st Scheduled Nap

Eventually, it was 7pm and time for my scheduled 1 hour nap. Santina had arrived to crew and pace me. She helped me get my muddy shoes off and cleaned up my feet so they could air out again. Dave arrived as well with a hamburger from Wendy’s for my dinner. They helped me get into my sleeping bag and let me know they would be back before 8pm to help me get going again.  I struggled to fall asleep and got only about 40 minutes. My legs kept twitching from the pain and waking me up.

Finally, I called Dave and told him that I needed to get moving. He helped me to once again re-lube my feet and get on my shoes and socks. In doing so though, I noticed that I had a large lump on the front of my lower shin that was extremely painful to the touch. It was so painful that I really didn’t know how I would get another loop done. Luckily, my friend Holly stopped in to say hi and I told her what was going on. I don’t like to take medication even when I’m not running and have never taken any during a race. But she gave me two ALEVE and a B12 and told me that I would feel like magic in about 30 minutes. They helped me up and I limped through the 2 mile loop, waiting for it to kick in. Eventually my legs loosened up, but the pain mostly remained. Dave only had time for two loops before he had to take the girls back to the hotel for the night, but it was comforting to have him with me during probably the hardest loop of the entire race.

Mile 114

Santina was up next for pacing. Throughout the day, there had been high winds which started to dry out the mud, but only enough to make it sticky instead of slippery. Which meant it was now shoe sucking mud! Santina and I figured out that if we hugged the fence with one arm and used a trekking pole to stay upright, we could maneuver through the mud without getting stuck. There was one loop though when I stopped for a few seconds to rest. When I started to move again, my shoe was stuck! I panicked because my shins were really hurting. I knew that I would have to use those muscles to lift my foot out. Santina talked me through it and I was able to dig my foot out with my poles. Crisis averted!

Mile 118

We covered at least 2-3 loops at a decent pace when Kristen showed up to pace around 11:30 pm.  The three of us took off together for the next few hours. They made me laugh, told stories and made sure that I was eating enough. There were still moments when I had to grit my teeth through the pain and exhaustion but having them there helped me take my mind off it and enjoy the moment. Around 2:30am, Santina left for the night and my Dad joined in. He pushed the pace as we went out loop after loop with a stop to the bathroom in between every lap. My stomach was finally starting the digest the day’s food and it got pretty uncomfortable for a while. Around 6am, Kristen left to go home and my Mom joined in to pace me.

Those last few hours felt like time was standing still. It felt like I would be out here running forever, that there was no ending to the excruciating pain. I don’t have much of a recollection of what we talked about out there because my thoughts were consumed with moving forward through the discomfort. I had to keep reminding myself that in just a few short hours, I would be clean, warm and relaxing on my couch at home and this would all be a distant memory. Time is relative. It doesn’t matter if you’re running a 5k or 140 miles. There is an ending. And when you look back at it, you want to be proud what what you put out there. So I just kept slowly moving forward. 

140 Miles

The 24 hour runners finished their race at 7am but we still had an extra 2 hours due to the delays from Friday night. A day ago, I had been excited for the extra time to be added on. But in this moment, I just wanted to be done.  

The last two loops of the race, the end finally felt near. We cheered on the other runners that we saw on the course. I picked up the pace as much as I could knowing that it would be over soon. I tried to soak it all in as I walked towards the finish line with my family watching. At the end of the race, I ended up 1st woman and 2nd place overall finishing with a PR of 140 miles.

Post Race

Over the last several years, I have convinced myself that I thrive in the worst of conditions. It paid off during this race. I may not be the fastest out there, but I know that I am willing to endure when it gets really hard. The worse the weather and the trail became, the more determined I was to push harder. I was able to focus solely on the task in front of me. I never even considered the damage that I could be doing to my body because for me it was more than just a race. It was a chance to break myself down and become stronger version of myself in the process of enduring pain, exhaustion and suffering.

Going into the race, I was aiming for 150+ miles. In perfect conditions, I know could have achieved that. But life is never perfect and we must keep adapting to the difficult circumstances that life throws at us in order to keep moving forward. What I found within myself after 140 miles of wind, lightning, mud and rain was the strength and determination to keep going. What I I gained was even more confidence and curiosity in what I am still capable of. My next big goal is “No Business 100”, a 100 mile loop through the hills of Tennessee. After that…I have my eye on running the Across the Years Multi-day race in Arizona to run more loops and to again see just how far I can go.

Registration for Rim to River 100 opens up at midnight on December 31st. I got on the website the next morning and it was already sold out! So I got on the waitlist and didn’t think much about it until I got an email in July that I had gotten into the race! I have wanted to run Rim to River 100 since it’s first year in 2020. But this year, I didn’t have any other fall races and knew I was ready to make it happen. It’s an out and back course with 13,000 feet of elevation gain which is more than I have done in the past. 95% of my training is on the roads and I don’t get a lot of climbing in on a daily basis so I knew that this would be a challenge.

My ultimate goal is to continue to challenge myself, grow and to push my limits . I’ve run 100 miles 6 times before this, but I have always had pacers to help me navigate the exhaustion that comes with running at night. Running with my pacers has provided me with comfort in the face of a lot of painful moments. I wondered, what if I took away that comfort? Who could I become on the other side of facing the discomfort head on. Well, I was about to find out. 

The Start- 6am

The race started at Ace Adventure Resort in Oak Hill West Virginia. At 5:35am, we parked the car, I said good bye to Dave and my two daughters, Elle and Maeve and headed down to the starting line. After one very last minute trip to the bathroom, I lined up at 5:59am.

The race starts up a very long hill on the pavement. My first thought was that if this was a preview of what was to come, I was in for a very tough day. The hill continued for quite a while before we turned onto a single track trail covered in a thick layer of leaves. I was careful with my footwork and started in on getting in my first snack 20 minutes into the race. It was set to be a very unseasonably warm day and I knew that there would come a time where I would not be able to eat so getting in early calories would be important. 

Concho Rim Aid Station- Mile 7.5

I started talking to another runner for about a mile or two and before we knew it, we popped out of the trail at the 1st aid station as the sun was coming up. There was a gorgeous overlook at the aid station, but I was in a hurry to get my pack refilled and keep moving. Once back on the trail, we continued up a gradual incline on a road covered in large gravel. We ran uphill on this path for a while before getting back onto the trail and moving up a steeper hill. Already, the hills were relentless but I focused on staying in the moment.

I eventually caught up to a large group of runners and talked to a few people as we now headed downhill towards the mile 14 stream crossing. It appeared much worse than it actually was. I was able to hop onto the rocks quickly towards the next steep uphill. When we got to the top of this climb, the trail was flat for a a few miles. I took advantage of this and focused on chasing people down. This was an out and back section to the Thurmond Aid Station. I felt great, was eating well and enjoying encouraging the other runners headed out in the opposite direction. Finally, we crossed over a bridge to the next aid station. I refilled my bottles, knowing that the next aid station was a longer stretch to get to. 

Thurmond- Mile 17

As I headed back across the bridge, I stopped to take a few pictures. I never do this in races. I’m usually all business.  Getting through one mile at a time with complete focus. But I was here for an adventure and wanted to capture the beauty of this race. We headed back the same way we came in and my family showed up for a few minutes to cheer me on. The trail was very runnable but the day was starting to get pretty warm. I saw a stream so I dipped my hat in it to cool off. Again, I was trying to chase down other runners. I counted my steps to keep myself focused and my mind occupied for the long stretch to the next aid station at mile 27. I was almost out of water so I needed to make sure I stayed on pace. 

Cunard Aid Station- Mile 27

As I ran into the Cunard aid station, there were cars and people everywhere. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t find Dave and the girls so I pulled out my phone to call them but there was no service. I panicked for a second, then told myself to pull it together and figure it out. I looked over the aid station food, fumbled around trying to refill my bottles with Skratch and started formulating a new plan. 

Luckily, Dave arrived right then with all of my fuel and gear. He gave me my handheld water bottle plus 2 filled soft flasks to get through the next 12 mile section and I stuffed my pockets full of food. I said good bye and started the long, 2 mile climb on the road. The climb felt like it went on forever but I tried to keep a strong pace as I hiked. By the top of the hill, I had already finished one of my three bottles of water.

We turned onto a new trail which was again covered in a thick layer of leaves with some jagged rocks hidden underneath. I had the same strategy through these miles. Count my steps to focus my mind and just continue to chase down runners. I was really starting to feel the heat so I began to take in more electrolytes. I realized that I was going through a lot of water and at the pace I was running, I was going to run out well before I reached the mile 43 aid station. So I started to conserve water. Every spring or puddle I passed I dipped my hat into to attempt to cool my body down. I even dipped my hat into a mud puddle at one point because I was so overheated. I focused on picking up my pace so that I could reach the aid station sooner. Thats when my foot hit a rock hidden under the leaves and I went flying. Luckily I landed in a pile of leaves so I picked myself up and kept going. The views in this section were amazing. We were right there on the edge of the trail next to a drop off but it was beautiful. 

A few miles later, I came to a steep path that turned uphill. Runners grouped together as we inched our way up, hands on knees. Most of the runners were out of water at this point and we still had a ways to go before the next aid station. At the top of the climb, we turned off to the right onto a trail with very large rocks making it difficult to find a rhythm again. Finally, I reached the top and was pointed in the direction of the out and back to pick up a key chain and bring it back, proving that I had actually gone to the lookout. The trip out there felt like time was standing still. My thoughts were very dark at this point and my mind tried to negotiate with me. “You don’t really HAVE to finish this race. One DNF would be ok. It’s not that big of a deal.” This went on for a while. I usually have good control over my mind so the intensity of these negative thoughts surprised me. I was overwhelmed by the fact that while most runners had a pacer to look forward to at mile 50, I would be on my own. But still, I kept moving forward.

Long Point Overlook

Finally, when I reached the lookout, it was breath taking! Another woman turned to me and offered to take my picture if I took hers. I remembered her face right away. I had seen her at dinner the night before and recognized her from Team RunRun. We turned to head back towards the aid station and started talking . It was her first hundred so I began to tell her what she could expect over the next 60 or so miles. Talking to someone and seeing a friendly face instantly lifted my spirits and got me out of my head. As we reached the aid station, I made a plan for what I needed to grab. I asked Michelle if she wanted to head out together and she agreed. Over the next section we talked and moved steadily. I didn’t feel great but it was manageable.

Fayette Aid Station #1- Mile 43

We joined up with another runner over the last mile into the aid station and once again made a plan to meet up and leave the Fayette aid station together. This aid station was like a big party! There was a band and tons of crew hanging out and enjoying the day. I grabbed some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Dave refilled my bottles and pushed me to get moving and not waste time here. My daughter wasn’t feeling well and I was worried, but Dave told me they would be fine. So the three of us headed out, up a long climb which then led into single track trails. As we headed out to the 50 mile turn around we started to see the lead runners heading towards us with their pacers. Some of this section was very narrow, making it tricky to let other people get by without someone toppling off the side of the trail. It started to rain steadily just as it got dark. I welcomed both the rain and the darkness. We headed up another long climb into the aid station and again made a plan to meet up and head out together. Michele was meeting up with her pacer and I was going to run with them back to Fayette at mile 58.

Ansted Aid Station- Mile 50.5

I ran into the aid station, quickly found Dave (the kids were locked in the car somewhere at this point since it was raining and they were tired). He gave me new water bottles and checked in on how I was feeling. I told him that I wasn’t eating much. They had a nice bathroom here so I decided to take advantage of it before heading out. As soon as I went, I noticed that there was blood in my urine. I have heard many stories about this from other ultra runners so I knew that if I didn’t figure this out, my race could end early. I frantically told Dave. He remained very calm and told me to drink only plain water from here on out. I remembered that I had taken in a good amount of electrolytes earlier in the race when it was hot, but I ran out of water so I wasn’t able to dilute them. The mistakes you don’t realize that you’re making earlier in a 100 mile race always have way of showing up later in the day.  

On my way out, I grabbed my poles, some perogies, found Michelle and her pacer and we headed back down the hill that we had just climbed up. These miles flew by. The three of us talked about running the entire way. I was still very nervous about taking in any more electrolytes, so I ate very little through this section and stuck with just drinking water. Before we knew it, we were heading back across the Bridge to the Fayette Aid station again. 

Fayette #2- Mile 58

It was about 9:30pm and the kids were exhausted and ready to be done crewing for the day. So I grabbed everything from Dave that I would need to get through the night on my own, grabbed a few more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and took off with Michelle again.

I ran with her and her pacer for close to a mile. I wasn’t feeling well and I knew that I wasn’t eating enough. In a race this long, you have to run your own race. I told them to keep  going. I slowed down a little to eat some more food. One foot in front of the other. There were still plenty of other runners out with their pacers in this short 5 mile section so it still felt like I had company but I also enjoyed being on my own.

Long Point- Mile 63

I ran into Michelle again at Long Point and her pacer filled my bottles and checked in on me. I told them that I would be ok and that they could go on ahead. The next section would be longer so I wanted to make sure I was prepared. My plan was to keep my pace under 20 minutes per mile. That may sound slow, but when you’re alone, at night on a trail with lots of climbing, it feels much faster than it sounds! 

As I left the aid station, I was nervous about getting lost but also it also felt empowering to be running alone. I talked myself through the trail, focusing on watching for trail markings while also working hard to stay on pace. When I have had a pacer in the past, I pay no attention to where I’m going. I allow myself to get sleepy and sometimes forget to eat. I rely on my pacer for all of these things. But out here, it was just me. I needed to dig down deep and find strength that I haven’t had had to access in a long time. A few runners and their pacers came up and ran just behind me for a while. I stayed focused on where I was going, tried to keep my feet dry on the now muddy trail and continued to snack on some candy and Skratch gummies that I had with me.

Arrowhead- Mile 71

This section felt like it went on forever! But finally I came to Arrowhead, a brightly lit aid station full of volunteers who were more than willing to help. They filled me up quickly with tater tots and perogies and I headed back onto the trail. At this point though, there was no one around.  There weren’t other trails to turn onto so I wasn’t too worried about getting lost but, but it was compete darkness everywhere I looked

I kept moving forward, running the numbers in my head to determine how many hours it would take me to get to the next aid station at my current pace. 9 miles to go x 3 miles per hour. Ok, I’ll be there in 3 hours. But if I do 19 minute miles, I’ll get there 9 minutes sooner.  Having a strategy calmed my mind. I began to run intervals and count my steps. Anything to keep my mind focused.

After about an hour, I started to close in on other runners up ahead. I met another runner on the trail who was really hurting. I talked with him for a while about the races that he run in the past. This helped us both to keep our minds off of the pain and moving forward towards the mile 80 aid station. He told me to go on ahead as we began the 2 mile descent down the steep hill towards the aid station that we had climbed earlier in the day. It was painful. My knees and quads were screaming at me as I inched down the hill. My feet were now raw from blisters that had started to form.

Cunard- Mile 80

Near the bottom of the hill, I saw the turn into the Cunard aid station and felt so relieved! The volunteers were amazing. They grabbed my dropped bag, helped me take off my hydration vest and add another layer of clothing. They refilled my water bottles and got me some hot food. I felt so grateful for these people!

The next section was flat and right next to the river.  I couldn’t seem to get into a rhythm and was distracted by everything. First I had to stop to go to the bathroom. Then I couldn’t get my candy unwrapped. I kept looking over my shoulder but all I could see was darkness. Then I started to get extremely sleepy and began to see animals coming out of the woods. I tried to eat hard candy to stay awake. I looked down the trail and started seeing other people standing on the edge of the trail. After a few minutes, I refocused and realized that I was still out here alone. Those were actually just reflectors that on the trail. 

Finally, 2 other “real” runners came up behind me. They introduced themselves and we started talking. One of the runners had run tons of ultras all over the world and entertained us with his stories. As we headed into the next aid station, Dave called me. He said later that I answered like I was just hanging out at home, not like was at mile 85 of a 100 mile race! I was in pain but I was at least feeling more wide awake and happy to have some company. 

Erskine- Mile 85.5

I attempted to eat a piece of pizza at the aid station and then continued on with one of the runners that I had been running with for the last half mile or so. We were both nervous about the upcoming climbs and stream crossing so we decided it would be better to stick together through this section. There were a few close calls almost immediately. We ran right passed the trail markers onto the wrong trail. Then I lost my footing and came close to colliding head first with a rock. I was getting clumsy and distracted in my exhausted state, but we kept moving. It was nice to have someone to suffer with after being alone for most of the night.

We came up to the wide stream that we crossed on Saturday. The morning before, I hopped across easily. The water had seemed calm and the rocks weren’t too wet. At this point though, it was dark out, the water was moving rapidly and the rocks very slippery. I really didn’t want to get my already raw, blistered feet soaking wet. There was no way around it though. I tried to step onto the rocks but ended up with my entire lower leg in the water and basically just crawled across! It wasn’t pretty and my feet were completely soaked but I made it across.

Next up was a long, gradual climb. It went on forever and we both commiserated over how long these miles were taking. We continued to wind back and forth up the continuous climb. I kept seeing the gravel road that would take us back down to the 92.5 mile aid station, but I couldn’t figure out how we would ever end up there.

Finally after what felt like hours, we did get there. I thought I would be excited to get off the trail for minute onto the gravel. But the large gravel rocks felt like I was running across fire. My raw feet seared with pain. I was sure the entire soles of my feet must be covered in blisters. I forced myself into a slow shuffle which I knew would at least be faster and more efficient than hiking.

Concho Rim- Mile 92.5

We turned down the hill towards Concho Rim and I was so happy to see Dave and the girls again. Tears sprang to my eyes as I finally let down my guard for a moment. I was completely exhausted, in so much pain and I knew that it would still take me several more hours to finish the last 8.5 miles on the trail.  I had no doubt that I would finish but it would take everything I had in me to do so. Dave was unfazed by my tears though. No matter how worried he may be, he always remains calm and doesn’t react when issues come up during my ultras. He simply gives me more food and tells me that I am going to be ok. 

So I kept moving back onto the rocky trail. It was slow going and only got slower. I was doing the infamous death march towards the finish. For some reason I had thought that on my 7th 100 miler, I was beyond this. That somehow, I would feel ok at mile 92. But running these long distances will exploit your weaknesses time and time again. And that is why I keep coming back for more. About a mile in, we had passed through the campground at ACE fairly close to where the finish line would be and had to keep running in the opposite direction uphill.

Finally, after several hours of slow, painful movement, we came out of this section of trail onto the road and some volunteers directed us to the next trail. They let us know that we were about 2 miles from the finish. I continued to run the numbers, trying to figure out what time I might arrive at the finish line. I could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel!

When we finally came out of the woods and started heading down the hill that we had started the race on, I saw Dave and the girls cheering me on. As I turned the corner, about 400 yards from the finish line, I began a slow shuffle that felt more like a sprint! I was emotionally and physically depleted but I put my poles in one hand and gave what I could in that last stretch.

After the Race

When I finally had time to sit down and reflect on the race a few hours later, back at our cabin, I was amazed at what I was able to do at Rim to River 100. Was it my best time? No. Did I place? No. But that’s not what I’m trying to do. I set a goal to run my 7th 100 mile race without a pacer, to get through the night alone, and I did it. I set the bar high for myself and by doing so, I got myself through some tough situations throughout the race and become a stronger version of myself in the process. Will I run Rim to River again? Probably at some point! The course was stunning, the runners and volunteers were incredibly helpful and friendly and the race is put on by people that really care about the race and their community. Although this race was filled with many lows, some very painful miles and a long, dark night alone. I knew going in that it wasn’t going to be easy. Running 100 miles will never be easy. It’s the things that we fight for in life though that teach us the most.

Rim to River 100 was a stepping stone for my future ultra running goals. I’m driven over and over to find the limits of my body and mind. Each time, I learn that humans can withstand nearly anything. It just takes self belief, consistent training and the ability to put one foot in front of the other over and over again. I told myself that if I could achieve this goal, I would move onto the next distance. So that means that I’ll be headed back to Vernal Equinox 48 Hour Race in a few months and I’m not leaving there without 150 miles.

I choose my races based of of 2 factors; location (is this going to be convenient for my family) and is this race going to challenge me/change me? I have had a fear of running in the heat ever since I was in High School cross country and passed out mid-race from dehydration twice. But I have never been one to let fear make my decisions for me. If I wanted to overcome my discomfort with running in hot weather, I was going to have to face it head on. That made Burning River an obvious choice! Nothing like a late July 100 in Ohio!

I did a lot of my training in the middle of the day when I could and started taking hot yoga to acclimate my body to the heat. I told myself that I enjoy running in the heat because if you tell yourself something enough times, it will become your reality. Eventually, towards the end of the training block, I started to actually enjoy these warm workouts. I came up with a solid hydration plan for the race and decided that the heat would not be a factor in my overall race result. In fact, I decided that I was going to run a PR, no matter what the weather.

Race Week

During just about every taper, something happens that makes me struggle to get through the week before he race. I have fallen and hurt my knee, accidentally kicked a table and stubbed my toe and gotten what felt like bronchitis. Every time though, I start the race and feel 100% healthy. The week before Burning River 100 was no different. I came down with a cold 7 days before the race. I knew deep down that I would still run 100 miles, but I still went into panic mode and drove myself and my family crazy over the next few days. But as I suspected, 2 days before the race, it started to clear up and the morning of the race, I felt normal!

The Start

After only about 2 hours of sleep, I got in line with the other 200 or so runners at the starting line right at 3:58am. I always love the start of an ultra because it is very low key. They yell start and everyone sets off in a slow jog, knowing that it will be a long day and night ahead. The first 4 miles of the race was on the road with plenty of rolling hills. I started the race in my road shoes with the plan to change in my Altra Outroads as soon as I needed them. My plan for the day was to get uncomfortable. Run the sections that were runnable and push hard on the trails.

I kept this up through mile 11 when we hit the first of many climbs. I was getting in and out of the aid stations quickly, eating my homemade rice bars and Maurten Solid bars and moving really well. The race felt pretty uneventful as I entered into another trail and decided to push my pace on this more technical section of trail. The next thing I knew, my toe hit a root and I went flying. This would be the first of several falls. I assessed the damage, hopped up quickly with the help of some passing runners and kept moving. I saw Dave again at the end of this trail as we moved out onto another section of road.

Mile 22.5- Oak Hill Aid Station

At the Oak Hill Aid Station, I quickly found Dave and refilled on water and snacks and he pushed me out of there in about 1 minute. Our strategy is always to get in and get out and to keep moving no matter what. About a half mile into this section of trail, I started chatting with another runner which helped the next several miles to go more quickly. This is when it started to get pretty hot out. I continued through the course, alternating sections of towpath, where I could keep a steady pace, and the more technical sections of climbing on the trails.

The hardest part of the morning came when we reached “the Sound of Music” hill, which is exactly what you’re picturing! Wide open field and a huge hill right in the center. There was zero shade on this section of the course and it felt brutal! I had caught back up to the runner that I was running with earlier towards the bottom of this hill. We were both struggling. We decided to team up and keep each other moving. When one of us started to slow down, the other one would suggest we start running. This went on for several miles. Sometimes suffering with someone else is easier than suffering alone. We kept this up almost to the halfway point, picking up another runner along the way.

Mile 50.9- Silver Springs

At Silver Springs, each runner’s name is announce as it’s the halfway point. Dave met me there with my requested McDonald’s fries and Dr. Pepper (they were out of Coke!). The Dr. Pepper didn’t sit well after one sip so I took my fries and kept moving. On the exposed section of the towpath back towards the finish, it was very hot. I began to run the shaded sections and hike the exposed sections to get through this part of the course more quickly.

I recognized another runner from the Vernal Equinox 48 hour and ran with him and another runner for the last mile of his section. We came into the aid station at the end of this hot stretch and found Dave there waiting for me. I filled up my bandana with ice, refilled my water. Dave knew that I was hot and tired and pushed me to get moving again quickly. This is generally where I lose some time in most races. We were focused getting me through these miles at a more consistent pace.

As expected, this section was rough. I started to feel very bad. A lot of runner’s had picked up pacers and I was running alone. I started to feel nauseous and stopped eating. I’ve run enough hundreds though to know that if I didn’t eat soon, this feeling would not get better. So I took a deep breath and started to problem solve. What does my body need right now? I found some hard candy in my pack and ate that. It made me feel a tiny bit better. I counted down the miles until I would see Dave again and he would start pacing me.

Back at the Sound of Music Hill again, it started to cool down and I was able to run more comfortably. 3 miles until I see Dave. A runner passed me looking strong and I decided that I should pick it up as well since it was starting to get dark on the trail. Just as I was gaining momentum, I hit another root. Before I knew it, I was flat on my chest, covered in dirt. It was one of those falls that happened before I could even react. I gave myself a second, brushed off my hands and knees, and started moving again.

Pine Hollow Aid Station- Mile 67.4

Finally, I was at mile 67 and Dave was there ready to pace me. But first, we took inventory of how I felt and what I needed. We switched out my headlamp for my brighter Kogalla light. I added a long sleeve shirt to my pack. Then we made a quick stop at the aid station to see if there was any food that I might be able to stomach. At the last minute, I grabbed a pierogie. I don’t eat gluten normally, but I knew I wouldn’t make it 35 more miles if I didn’t start eating. Surprisingly, the perogie tasted amazing and gave me the energy that I needed! The miles started flying by again as we caught up on the day.

It wasn’t until we were back on the towpath again around mile 73 that I hit another low. I was starting to feel the exhaustion of the day and I wanted sleep. I asked Dave if I could please just lay down on the ground for 1 minute. Of course, he said no! I also started to get very cold and we realized that i needed to start eating again. We reached the next aid station and I grabbed a handful of m&m’s. This was apparently what my body needed. From race to race, you just never know what foods are going to bring you back to life! For Burning River, apparently, it was pierogies and M&M”s.

Oak Hill Aid Station- Mile 78.7

Heading back into Oak Hill for the second time of the race, I noticed that my feet were starting to swell. I didn’t dare take off my socks because I knew I had some bad blisters. But I did need another pair of shoes. I grabbed my Topo Ultraventure’s (the shoes that have gotten me through my previous 5 hundred milers), more pierogies and m&m’s and we headed out again.

Dave started mentioning that he was having some pain in his bad leg. He had knee surgery almost 2 years ago and recovery has been an uphill battle for him. He’s not one to complain so we started to formulate a new game plan. He was supposed to pace me through mile 97 and we both knew he wouldn’t last that long because he was feeling worse by the mile.

The key to finishing 100 miles is to stay adaptable. Nothing will ever go according to plan, so you have to make a new plan if you want to make it to the finish. I changed my mindset from only focusing on myself to making sure that he was ok. I think that this really helped me at the end of the day. It distracted me from my own pain and forced me to look at the bigger picture. We made it through the next few technical sections and finally back to Botzum aid station.

Botzum Aid Station- Mile 87

I left Dave at the aid station, assuring him that I would be just fine running on my own. I was feeling pretty good and my mind was now alert. The next section was back on the towpath and it was pitch dark. I felt very paranoid out there all alone. So even with exhausted quad muscles, I push myself as hard as I could for the next mile and half until I caught up with 2 other runners. I ran behind them for the next technical section until one of them sped up and the other slowed down and I was alone again.

There were a few moments where I stopped. Questioning if I was going the right way. A tired brain will do that to you in the early morning when you’re exhausted! I pulled out my phone to see if Dave had texted. My phone was down to 5% battery. He told me that my Dad was coming to pick him up and that would meet me at the next aid station at 5:30am. My Dad would start to pace me from there. I pushed myself hard uphill towards the next aid station.

North Hawkins- 92.5 miles

I arrived at North Hawkins just before Dave and my Dad. I filled up on water and food and grabbed a pacer bib. Normally at this point in a hundred, I’m doing the death march. So feeling mentally alert was new for me. My quads were shot and I could feel blisters burning in my shoes, but it didn’t feel overwhelming. I think this is where my experience started to play a part in the race.

My Dad and I set off at a fast hiking pace. He is a good pacer for the end off a race because he will not slow down his pace, no matter how I am feeling. When you are exhausted and in pain, the mind can be impressionable. If your pacer is too sympathetic, you will give into the pain and slow down. At this point in the race, you cannot give in. When it hurts the most, that’s when you have to push the hardest. So we chatted about books we were reading, talked with a few other runners and just kept relentlessly moving forward.

A few miles from the finish line, I really started feeling bad. I was ready to be done. I was tired of forcing myself to eat and tired of being awake. But still I held on because after running six 100 mile races, I know that time is relative and pain doesn’t last forever. I crossed the finish line in 28 hours and 23 minutes, a new 100 mile PR.

Post Race

Post race was difficult this time around. I tried to eat on the way home but couldn’t keep anything down because my stomach was completely shut down. I stepped out of the car and fainted in my parent’s driveway. It all felt fairly dramatic. But it reminded me that I had just ran 100 miles, and even now, I still need to let myself recover. So for the the first time in a long time, I’m going to take 10 days off of running to recover and reset and come back even stronger.

The next race will be Rim to River 100 in West Virginia. The reason for this race; to run the out and back course completely on my own. No pacer and only crew for half of the race. The next 10 weeks will be spent putting in the work to become the kind of person who can take on this task. Already looking forward to getting to that starting line!

The fears we don’t face become our limits

-Jim Kwik

I signed up for the Vernal Equinox 48 Hour Race back in October. My initial thought was to run the 24 hour option, but we have been talking about multiday races for a long time. I finally decided that there was no point in putting it off until I was “ready,” You’re never going to be be ready. Sometimes you just have to jump right in. 

At this point, I know that I can run 100 miles on mental toughness and about 50 miles per week. I don’t need to go above and beyond in my training to get it done. But running for 48 hours straight? I wasn’t so sure. I needed a goal that would get me out of bed every morning to do the extra work. A goal that would scare me. In the process of training for this race, I became the person that I knew I could be. And that was the whole point of it all.

Training

In the last 2 months of my build up, I got my mileage up to 75 miles per week. I have 2 young kids, so I had to get up at 4:30am just to get my miles in every day. There were definitely days when it was hard to get out of bed, but I knew that I owed it to myself. During my last big week of training, I was dealing with a health issue and couldn’t sleep at all. I still got up, though, and put in the work. During that week, I proved to myself that I had what it takes to run for 48 hours.

The Race

We got to the race, which was held at Majestic Farm in Batavia, Ohio at 6:30am for a 7am start. Dave set up the rest of our gear in the horse stall and I got lined up. We set off at a very easy pace right at 7am. During the first 2 mile loop, I introduced myself to several other runners, knowing that we would all be out here other for a while!  About 3 minutes in, it started to snow! The trail was very muddy and right away I realized that I would need to change into my trail shoes.

Even as we got further into the race, I kept saying that it didn’t feel real. In a timed race, you never want to think about the enormity of the goal in front of you. I took it one loop at a time, chatted with other runners and enjoyed seeing my family each loop. The race was fairly uneventful up until about 30 miles in. That’s when I started having stomach issues. I had been steadily eating the entire day. Taking in oatmeal, macaroni and cheese, raspberry mint rice bars and jelly beans. My stomach hurt a lot and I realized right away that I was constipated. This has happened to me in other races because the blood flows away from your digestion system to your legs. It is very uncomfortable and I knew that it could be particularly detrimental in a race this long.

In the meantime, my friend Santina had shown up, and was cheering me on after each loop. The race went on like this for a few hours. I was miserable until I would get around the loop, see my friends and family, and then my mood would brighten for a few minutes.

Around 35 miles in, my family and Santina all had to leave for dinner. Once on my own to figure this out, I finally pulled it together and faced the problem head on. I texted my Dad and asked him what I should do. He told me to stop eating to give my digestive system a rest and just drink plain water. As I was working through this first big issue of the race, I realized that this is why I signed up for this race. I was in a very dark place in my mind, and this is exactly what I came for!

Hour 12 (50 Miles)

By the time my family got back from dinner, I was feeling much better! I was in good spirits and ready to prepare for a night of running on my own. At this point I was 12:30 into the race and at 50 miles. I changed my clothes, socks, and shoes, and lubed up my feet with Trail Toes. Dave made me an egg and cheese hot pocket for dinner. I sat for a few minutes to finish eating and talk with my kids and ask them about their day. Then I headed back out onto the trail.

Dave said he would stick around as long as the kids were good and then they would leave for the night. My stomach still felt sensitive but I was eating and able to go to the bathroom. So once again I was on a high and happy to be out there! This wouldn’t last long though. A race this long is just series of ups and down and I needed to solve each problem as it came up.

Hour 18

A few hours after Dave and the kids left, I started to get very cold. The temperature had dropped to 28 degrees and there were some open areas on the course that were very windy. I started shivering and couldn’t stop. I came around to my horse stall and sat alone in my chair under a blanket, drinking warm chicken broth. It was a very strange and lonely feeling. But once again, I knew I had reached this dark place again and needed to find the way out. I called Dave around 2am and he told me to put on every piece of clothing that I brought and to start taking in more calories. I did what he said and then headed back out, knowing that I was better off moving.

Soon after, I started to notice that there weren’t many people on the trail. There also weren’t many people in the horse stalls either though. Another runner told me that many of the other runners had gotten cold and were sleeping in their cars. I knew this wasn’t an option so I got into my sleeping bag around 4am to try to get a few minutes of sleep. I quickly realized though that I was just too cold and that laying down would be a waste of time.

On the next loop, my eyes started to get very heavy. I was starting to hallucinate. I saw my socks scattered all over the trail and at one point, a saw a snake jump out onto the trail. It was actually just a branch! On the next loop, I fell asleep while walking and woke myself up when I called my daughter’s name! I quickly shook it off. I decided to listen to David Goggins’ book on audible for a little while to give my mind something to focus on.

Hour 24 (80 Miles)

As soon as the sun started to come up, I felt a little better. Everything looked completely different in the daylight. It was as if we had just come out of a time warp. There were other races starting on the loop at 7 and 8am. The difference in demeanor between the new people and the 48 hour runners was drastic. We were in the midst of our suffering and discomfort while they were excited and happy to be out there. Unfortunately, all those additional runners on the trail created more mud! What had dried out overnight was once again thick, slippery mud that required more effort to track through.

I was feeling pretty out of it when my family arrived around 8:30am. I could hear myself asking Dave questions that didn’t make any sense. He realized quickly that I needed to get more calories in me. I sat in my chair in a daze and ate some more oatmeal. Then I got back up and kept moving. I was at 80 miles and 100 felt so far away. Luckily I ran into some friends from Columbus who were running the 24 hour race. Spending a loop or two with them gave me new energy. We chatted and laughed as I told them about my race up to this point. This is what I love about ultras. Sometimes it’s other people that can lift you up when you feel like you can’t go any further.

Hour 31 (100 Miles)

The remainder of the race, the highs and lows got closer together. I had heard that this could happen. I would be happy one loop and then having stomach issues the next loop. It became a constant battle to problem solve and figure out what my body needed. Finally though in 31:30, I reached 100 miles! I’ve run 4 hundreds before this one, but I’ve always had a pacer to get me through the night. This felt special because I did it on my own. Neti, one of the race directors, walked with me in the opposite direction from miles 98-100, announcing to the other runners that I had reached 100 miles. I savored the moment, knowing that I had no idea quite what to expect in the following miles.

When I got back to my stall Dave did a quick foot surgery. He drained and covered 2 blisters and repaired two hot spots. My feet had been in great shape up until about mile 90. We agreed that from here on out though, no matter what happened to my feet, I could probably push through it. I spent a few minutes with Santina and another friend, Jayne who was there to watch her husband finish the 8 hour race. I started to get a little too comfortable so Dave reminded me that it was time to get back out there.

Getting up was hard and my legs were very stiff. It took me most of the loop to loosen up. I was also having trouble focusing on what was going on around me. It was around 5pm on Saturday and I hadn’t slept since Thursday night. I came around the corner at mile 106, saw Dave, and burst into tears from the exhaustion. I no longer had any control over my emotions. I told Dave that I needed a nap but he convinced me to do just a few more laps. Finally at mile 110, I laid down in my sleeping bag. My kids were having dinner next to me and asking if they could sit in my sleeping bag instead. The music at the start/finish line was blaring but apparently I did manage to fall asleep for probably 40 minutes.

Hour 37 (110 Miles)

Dave woke me up at 8pm and said that Santina was waiting to pace me. It was time to finish this race. Only 11 hours to go. Getting up, changing my clothes and getting moving again was painful. I knew it would be dark again soon though which would be a nice change. Santina and I had a lot to catch up on which was a great distraction from the pain. We did several loops together and then stopped to eat. Throughout the night, we walked with other runners and tried to lift them up when they were in a low place. Other runners also continued to do the same for me.

At some point during one of our stops in the horse stall, I tried to eat a banana. My body completely rejected it. I could not swallow it. I tried some potato chips. Same thing. This was new for me. My digestive system was over it, and no longer wanted to take in any more food. This made my progress on the trail even slower. My energy was diminishing and I started to have some hip pain. I realized after a lap though, that my waist light was pinching my hip so removing it solved at least one problem. The rest of the second night is fuzzy. I remember bits and pieces but it almost feels like a far away dream.

I remember stopping in the office for about 15 minutes at one point to sit down and try to get warm. A volunteer offered to get me some eggs with salt which I was actually able to keep down. Santina worried that I might not leave the chair, but I did. We got back up and kept going. The winds were very strong and I periodically stopped for a second here and there to lean my body weight on my poles. Each lap felt like an eternity. It was pure misery and the exhaustion was all consuming, yet I kept going. Santina said that she would really like to get me to 130 miles so I agreed that we needed to pick up the pace.

Hour 48 (130 Miles)

That last loop, I gave it everything that I had left. It felt like we had to be running at least 10 minute miles when in actuality, we were really doing about 18 minute miles! As we rounded the last corner, I felt emotion well up inside of me. It was both pride in my accomplishment and relief to be finished. But I was too exhausted to really feel it. We took pictures and I finally sat down in my chair. My family showed up a few minutes later as I sat in a daze trying to figure out what to do with myself. So many thoughts and emotions went through my head, but all were muted by exhaustion.

A few minutes later, at the awards ceremony, I received an engraved glass mug for finishing 3rd woman and 6th overall! At the end of the day, I was proud of what I did. I got myself through some incredibly low points that tested me to my core. But I also had many high points that solidified why I love this ultra community! And most importantly, I came out of it a different person which was the whole point of it all.

Post Race

Looking back on the race, I feel happy but not fully satisfied, which I think is ok. These two days opened up a door in me. It showed me that I am actually capable of so much more.

The recovery though, has been harder than I expected. Physically, I don’t have any pain. Just a deep tiredness that has been hard to shake. It’s all part of the process. I know that running further than 130 miles will take more work. It will also be painful at times. It will take even more sacrifice. But the curiosity of what lies on the other side wins out for me. 150 miles, 200 miles, 300 miles…even further? Who knows, but I do know I’m not willing to leave anything on the table at the end of the day.

Next Up…TBD

I decided to run the Frigid 50k as a training run for the upcoming Vernal Equinox 48 Hour Race.  It is held at Last Straw Farm, the same location for the Winter Solstice 9 Hour race. Originally, it was supposed to be a 10k looped course with one aid station. The decision was made to switch it to a 2 mile loop a few days before the race. This was for safety reasons because the temperature was being predicted to be a windchill of -11.

I spent a lot of time during the days before, trying to gather clothes that would be weather appropriate but still breathable. I don’t usually get nervous about running in bad weather but the day before the race, I definitely felt on edge.

Race Morning

The morning of the race I loaded up the trunk of the car with extra clothes and snacks. I pre-filled water bottles with electrolyte solution to keep things simple. The trunk would serve as my own personal aid station. 

When I pulled into the farm, they directed me to park right next to the trail.This would give me easy access to my car whenever I needed it. I checked in, put on my bib and gathered in a barn with the other runners. There was also a relay that would be run at the same time as the 50k, making it impossible to tell how many people would actually be running in my race. There were probably a total of 25 people there for the pre-race meeting. 

The Start

We started off running on the trail in the opposite direction that I ran during the 9 hour race. The course was slightly different to make it a full 2 miles. The race director had driven an ATV around the trail the night before to create tire tracks for us to follow. But unfortunately, the snow was still fairly thick. Even though I had plenty of breathable layers on, I noticed right away that the body glide that I had applied to avoid chafing, was freezing on my skin. My Dad had warned me to keep my core dry and warm to avoid hypothermia. So right away my mind was racing trying to decide what to do about this. I pulled out my phone to connect it to my air pods to listen to some music for distraction. But because of the cold, my phone was already dead. 

I ran 2 loops trying to figure out what to do about my phone and cold core. I decided to make a quick stop at my car to fill up my water. (During this time, the cap to my water bottle had also frozen!)  I pulled out the key faab but the car wouldn’t open! I had brought my husband’s car and wasn’t very familiar with it. So I stood there for about 15 seconds panicked. My phone was dead, I was cold, I had no way to contact anyone and I had no music or water. I forced myself to pull it together and start moving again. I chanted over and over to myself “figure it out.” After another mile, I realized that the key faab must be frozen so I put it into my glove to warm it up. 

Mile 8

At the 8 mile mark, I tried again and it worked! I put my phone on the charger, filled up my water and grabbed some food.  All of these distractions had taken my mind off how cold I was. I felt comfortable again so that worry was alleviated. 

I continued to run loops at a steady pace and felt ok.  At around 15 miles I was tired from trudging through the snow loop after loop. Mentally, I felt burnt out. I started negotiating with my mind, trying to convince myself it would be OK to drop out. I went round and round with my mind. But deep down, I knew the whole time that I would never let myself quit. 

Mile 20

Finally at 20 miles in, I called my husband and put him on speaker phone while I continued to run. I felt overwhelmed by the conditions. I had just lost a glove, was suddenly confused at where I was on the course. I told him I was only going to go 25 miles since it was only a training run. He also knew that I wouldn’t quit and told me to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. He said, Tomorrow you aren’t going to even remember how cold and uncomfortable you were today. I knew he was right, so I kept moving and forced myself to embrace the moment. 

My watch had been slightly off all day and I stopped counting loops early on in the race. As I came around again at around 25 miles, the race director told me that he would check to see how may loops I had left. At this point in the day, most of the other runners were gone. The parking lot was nearly empty, and I had only seen 2 other people in the last couple of hours. 

As I came around the other side of the lake, he told me that I only had 3 more laps left! I thought I had 4-5 to go, so this lifted my spirits. The last 3 loops I kept moving steadily with the end in sight. I took it all in on that last loop and tried to enjoy the end of what had been a very challenging day.

The Results

90% of the races that I have run in the past year have been in terrible conditions. From heavy rain and lightning, to sloppy mud, and now to thick snow and negative temperatures. During each event, I spend some of this time completely miserable and hating life. But through it all, I have convinced myself that I am at my very best when I’m running in terrible conditions. What I may lack in speed, I make up for in toughness and mental strength. It’s all about pushing through the doubts and finding strength on the other side. Every time that I do this, I gain more confidence and determination to keep working harder and reaching higher.

When the results came out later that night, I found out that only 9 of us finished the 50k, and I was the only woman! 

The Wood Splitter Solstice is a timed 4 hour/ 9 hour race run on “Last Straw” Farm in Mount Vernon, Ohio. The idea is to run as many 1.5 mile loops as you can before time runs out. I chose the 9 hour race. I thought this distance would be great practice for the loops I’ll be running at Vernal Equinox 48 hour race in April. The race is run to benefit the organization “For Those Who Would” which I thought a lot about throughout the day when the miles got hard.

The plan was to set up our own little aid station next to the course with a tent for the kids to hang out in for the day. I didn’t taper before the event and planned to run strictly as a training run. I figured around 36 miles would be a reasonable goal.

The morning of the race, we woke up to pouring rain and cold temperatures. We all piled into the car and headed to the race. When we pulled in, they directed us to park on the grass, which was already turning into a mud pit.

Hours 1-4

I jogged over to the barn for check in and the pre-race meeting. There were around 40 people already gathered. Right before the race that it felt colder than I expected so I grabbed another layer of clothes.

Everyone started off easy, following the race director on a 4 wheeler through the first loop of the course. The first few loops, I was on my own, just getting warmed up and getting a feel for the course. The loop started on grass, wound halfway around a lake and then into the woods. This trail consisted of rolling hills and single track trail. Once out of the woods, we crossed through a huge corn field. For me, this was the most challenging part of the course. The ground was uneven with broken corn stalks and the mud was already deep, so there was no good footing. Once through the corn field, we ran halfway around another lake and started the loop over again.

After a few hours, I got into a rhythm. I would stop at my aid station every few loops to grab some food and say hi to my kids. In and out in 5-10 seconds. I met some awesome people during this part of the race. The rain had slowed down. Although the mud and stream crossings got messier each lap, everyone was in great spirits.

Hours 4-9

As hour 4 approached, I noticed already that there were less and less people running. The rain started coming down again steadily and the course was now a slip and slide of mud and water. Only the 9 hour runners were left and I was running alone. I put on a Rich Roll podcast just to have something to listen to and tried to keep my pace steady.

My husband asked how I was feeling on each and and up until this point I had felt great. But around hour 5, it became more of a grind than I had been expecting. Every muscle in my legs ached from the strain of lifting me feet through the deep, heavy mud. Running through these conditions was forcing me to use muscles that I don’t usually use so the fatigue was setting in early.

I reminded myself that I do my best in the worst of conditions and this gave me a boost. The rain and wind were picking up even more on the back stretch of each lap through the corn field. At one point, I looked up at the sky and said out loud, “bring it on.” I’ve run enough races to know that this was the point in the race where I could either give up on myself or fight harder. As the hours went by, I started to enjoy being on my own running these repetitive loops. I figured out exactly where I could run and where I needed to be careful because the mud was extra slippery. I also noticed the subtle changes in the terrain each loop that were affected by the constant rain.

Finally, it was the last hour of the race and my husband let me know that I needed to pick up the pace if I wanted to hit my goal. I had decided that I would settle for running a 50k, given the conditions. I would be more than happy with that. As I finished my 50k loop, I told my husband that I was done. There was only 20 minutes left on the clock and I didn’t think I could make it around for another loop. He said “yes, you can” and deep down, I knew I had to at least try.

Last Loop

I didn’t see anyone around going into that last loop. It was just starting to get dark and the wind and rain picked up even more. Everything hurt but I just kept going with the fear of not getting back int time pushing me to move my tired legs faster. I got to the edge of the cornfield and finally saw another runner that I had met earlier. For the first time all day, I ran through the cornfield with my arms flailing try to stay on my feet. My daughter, Elle ran with me as I gave it everything I had to finish that last lap. It ended up being my fastest loop of the day. I learned more from that last loop than I had all day running through the rain. I learned that there is always more left if we want something badly enough.

Running Tuscazoar was a pretty last minute decision for me. I finished Mohican and went looking for a race close to home that would be convenient for my family. I had no idea how it would go since I had done the Burning River Back 50 5 weeks earlier and Mohican just a month before that.

Going into the race, I decided on a more aggressive pacing strategy so I wouldn’t be fighting the cut off later in the race. I also was planning to eat real food for as long as my stomach would tolerate it.

The morning of the race I was more jittery than usual. I had higher expectations of myself and I wasn’t sure how my body was going to react since I hadn’t tapered for as long as I would have liked. All 65 or so of us lined up at 5:45am and took off right at 6am.

Loop 1

Everyone ran in a group single file into the trails in the dark. Everyone was pretty quiet at this point. I had my head down focused on not tripping over the rocks of roots. Suddenly out of nowhere, my head slammed into a short, sharp, broken tree branch, knocking my headlamp to the ground. It didn’t hurt too bad because my headlamp took the brunt of it, but I was caught off guard and definitely yelled out a few choice words at the branch! I told myself, “well I guess that was the first crazy thing to happen for the day, at least I got it out of the way early!”

We continued along single file until we hit the towpath. This 9 mile out and back is where I would make up time each loop. I was nervous about pushing too hard before the last 10 miles of the loop which contained all of the race’s elevation. I chatted with different runners and spent some time alone just enjoying the moment.

Zoar Aid Station

I came into the first crewed aid station 16 minutes ahead of schedule. Once back out on the towpath, I took a walk/run approach trying to get my hiking muscles warmed up and ready for the climbing ahead.

The first loop of climbing wasn’t too bad. There were some steep hills and plenty of rocks and roots. But my legs still felt great so I was able to run a lot of this section. I was moving really well, until I was about 2 miles away from finishing the loop. Out of nowhere I started a slow motion fall, sliding across the ground and skinning my elbows. I knew it was bound to happen eventually, so I brushed it off and kept moving. I came into the aid station at the end of loop one right on pace at 6 hours.

Loop 2

Loop 2 started off uneventful. I moved cautiously through the first section because of all the rocks and roots. Near the end of the section I started running with another runner who was struggling with a painful knee. As I talked him through it, it was a great distraction for me and we started running more easily and picking the pace back up. We moved along the towpath, picking up other runners along the way.

Zoar Aid Station

It was starting to get warm but I was having a great time as I came into the Zoar aid station. Dave grabbed my water bottles and quickly got me everything that I needed and rushed me right back out. My strategy was to eat only real food for this race for as long as my stomach would tolerate it. So I was mostly eating raspberry-mint rice squares and mashed potatoes. So far, they were giving me good energy without upsetting my stomach which was new for me!

Going into the 2nd half of the loop, I really tried to push myself to stay on pace. I hit a few low patches, where the aid stations started to feel further part. Still though, I kept my pacing plan in mind. I decided that I needed to start drinking Coke to give me a boost of caffeine and sugar. Starting this so early in the race wasn’t in the plan but I knew I had to just go with it! Leaving the wedding aid station for the 2nd time, I put my head down and pushed through it. There were some doubts in my mind, wondering if I would pay for this more aggressive approach later. I decided that I would deal with that when the time came.

Loop 3

I ran into the aid station at 12 hours 30 minutes, still right on pace. My parents were there waiting. Dave asked if I wanted my Dad to start pacing me at mile 55. I said yes, knowing that I was already feeling a lot more fatigue in my legs than I was used to. It would be nice to have a distraction out there. 5 more miles alone and then I would have pacers for the rest of the race. Those 5 miles were long and slow! I started feeling like I had to go to the bathroom but when I squatted down, nothing was happening. There was also a burning feeling which was alarming. I stopped probably 5 times during those 5 miles and was starting to wonder what was happening in my body.

Luckily my crew was waiting at the end of the trail. My Dad started pacing me right before the Route 800 aid station. He told me that I had taken in too many electrolytes and my kidneys were working over time to process them. Lesson learned! I didn’t even know this was a possibility! I immediately started drinking plain water and paid very close attention to how my body reacted to everything. We made up a ton of time as I ran to keep up with my Dad’s 13-14 minute/mile hiking pace.

Zoar Aid Station

Back in Zoar, I grabbed my Kogalla light and trekking poles and we both took long sleeved shirts with us. The weather was still comfortable but I knew that there was a chance of light rain at some point. As we came into the wedding aid station after the long climbs, I told my Dad to just leave his long sleeved shirt. It seemed like the showers must have passed and the air still felt somewhat warm. Well, not even 5 minutes later, it started pouring down rain. The wind picked up and the temperature started to drop. Oops! I quickly pulled out my rain coat knowing that exhaustion plus rain can equal big problems quickly!

We continued on through the rain and I felt the huge swings of highs to lows. One minute I would be talking and laughing. The next minute, I would be silent, deep in the pain cave. I kept reaching into my pack for whatever sugar that I could find to restore my glycogen levels and bring my body back to life. Finally, we came back into the wedding aid station. They offered me warm tater tots which was exactly what I needed! I spent the rest of the loop chatting away even though the rain continued to fall, the tiny stream crossings becoming rivers and the trail now slick with mud.

Loop 4

I picked up my Mom to pace me for the first 9 miles of loop 4. I was excited to be on my last loop and spend some miles with her. My body was still was moving pretty well. But as the rain continued on, I hit another low point again. I slowed my pace down trying to navigate the trail in my now sleepy state.

My watch wasn’t accurate anymore and I was unsure of my pacing so in my mind, I told myself I was probably still on pace. The reality was though, I wasn’t even close. Running 100’s is all about constant problem solving. At this point though I stopped managing my race and instead settled into my misery. Finally we came out of the trail section which felt like a relief but once on the towpath, I was a running zombie. I tried drinking more Coke but the caffeine was no longer affecting me because I had been drinking it all day. My Mom tried to keep me awake, but I was falling asleep on my feet and felt like this section would never end. When we came into the Zoar aid station, I knew I had some work to do.

Zoar Aid Station

Dave picked me up for his pacing duties at mile 85 and would finish out the race with me. The first thing he said to me was “let’s do a body check. How do your feet feel? How do your legs feel? How’s your stomach? How’s your mental state?” Breaking it down like this made everything feel more manageable. I realized that it was up to me to push through this low and find the way out.

He told me that he knew that I was in pain, but I had to start running. I grimaced as I pushed my body through the pain. But honestly running and walking both hurt, so might as well be running! The sun was just starting to come up as we made it into the Route 800 aid station. We once again picked up my trekking poles, I grabbed a grilled cheese sandwich and Dave pushed me back out onto the road. One more mile of runnable trail until we could start hiking the hills.

I took the uphills pretty well as Dave pushed on ahead of me. But when faced with a downhill, I had to talk myself through each excruciating step. My quads were shot at this point and the pain in my knee was almost unbearable. After each downhill, it would take me a few minutes to recover, but still I shuffled through any section that was even slightly runnable.

Dave knows me better than anyone so he knows exactly what to say to get the most out of me. He repeated over and over, “This is the last time until the next 100 that you get to see how far you can push yourself. This is what you came for.” He was right, I run these races to reach the depths of my own personal hell. To find the way out and see what’s on the other side. That section was pure misery, but I kept shuffling forward.

In the last few miles of the race, we started chatting with another runner. I was able to get past the misery and actually laugh at the craziness of the situation. The trail once again seemed to go on forever, but eventually we reached the opening in the trail that we knew would take us down to the finish line.

The Finish

Dave ran ahead to grab his camera and sprinted to the finish. I struggled down that last hill, trying to give one last push. I crossed the finish line in what felt like a slow motion run. Someone immediately put a chair underneath me and handed me some orange juice. I finished with PR of 28 hours and 55 minutes.

The race director then came over and handed me a bottle of maple syrup (the prize for finishing 2nd in my age group). A minute later he came back with a check for $300. I was completely confused but he said that this was the cash prize for finishing 2nd overall. (later we found out that I actually finished 3rd overall). But regardless, I started crying because it was completely unexpected to place at all. During these races, I hold it together for so long. It’s a flood of emotions when I’m finally finished. Usually I can’t even digest the entire experience for several days.

The Week After

During the race, I remember thinking that I should probably take a break from racing to let my body heal. I could feel the fatigue in my legs earlier on than I was comfortable with. But that could have also been the result of pushing the pace earlier in the race. The night after the race, I couldn’t sleep which is pretty normal. I pulled out my phone and found myself looking at the website for Canal Corridor 100 on October 9th. My entire body was still feeling the miles but still I can’t help but wonder if I have one more 100 in me this year. I guess time will tell over these next few weeks!

I ran the Burning River Back 50 last year and got so much out of it! So a week before, I told myself that if I could run 12 miles without pain, I would sign up again. I just ran Mohican 100 5 weeks ago so I was still in recovery mode. With Tuscazoar 100 coming up on September 4th though, I knew that I needed a big effort to give me the confidence to do another hundred so quickly.

Talking through the game plan with my family the night before the race, we decided that I should go out hard and just try to hold on for as long as I could. 50 miles no longer seems as far it used to, so I figured that I had nothing to lose.

Start

The 6pm start was low key. A group of us lined up, they said Go and off we went. About 200 meters into the race, I started talking to another runner named Greg. It was his first 50 mile race. He was going slightly faster than I was comfortable with so I decided that he would be a good person to stick with for a while. Another runner joined us for a while and the three of us chatted and kept an 11 minute pace for the first 7 miles or so on the towpath. It was warm, so I had on my ice bandana and kept taking in fluids and salt caps.

The third runner decided the pace was a little too fast, so she slowed down and it was just the two of us running again. I felt great until around mile 12 when my ear started to clog up as it usually does in humid races. I wasn’t feeling great but I wanted to keeping pushing so I trusted that this discomfort would pass soon enough.

Mile 17

Once we were on the trail, it was starting to get dark so I turned on my Kogalla light. I could remember most of the milestones that we passed including where I sprained my ankle last year. Once past this point, I had more confidence in my ability to stay on my feet! Finally we reached the first crewed aid station at mile 17. It was now completely dark. Dave and I fumbled around in the dark as I threw all of my used wrappers and headphones towards him. He gave me my filled water bottles and off we went. It turns out we actually lost a few soft flask water bottles here!

Greg was more familiar with these trails so I set the pace while he made sure that we didn’t get lost. We continued to make good time and I felt like I was flying. I just let go, not worrying about how I would feel later and not holding back. We continued to rush into aid stations, grabbing food quickly and then getting back to running. Dave continued popping up every few miles to cheer me on. Not knowing when he would pop up turned into a fun game throughout the rest of the race!

Around mile 21, we ran through a corn field which was a highlight for me. The ground felt like foam under my feet and the corn stalks created a tunnel. Next we turned back onto the tow path for a few miles. I decided this is where I would make up some time. I put in my headphones for the first time, found a steady pace and just cruised along. It wasn’t comfortable but I happily sat in this quiet discomfort for the next few miles. For me, there’s nothing better than running in the middle of the night. It’s so calm and peaceful compared to the chaos of every day life.

Mile 23

At the next aid station, we picked up another runner, Josh, who stayed with us for the rest of the race. The three of us kept up steady conversation about family and running until we started to close in on the Oak Hill Aid Station. This is about when we started to hear loud thunder start to rumble. I picked up the pace knowing that we were still at least a mile from seeing our crew. The rain started steadily at first and then the lightning started to light up the sky. By the time we came into the aid station, it was a full on downpour. We all agreed that none of us wanted to be running alone through severe weather and we were keeping a good pace so we would get what we needed and then head out together.

Mile 26

At Oak Hill, I realized that I had passed the halfway point in under 6 hours. I was excited that I was actually sticking to my plan to get to this point before midnight! Once again, Dave pushed us to get out of the aid station quickly. We headed out under the open sky, completely drenched from the rain. The next mile or so was on open roads so I got out ahead of my new friends and set the pace, unfazed by the thunder cracking around us. We all put our heads down, entering another trail single file as things became slick with mud. A few minutes later though, we were on runnable trail and once again I pushed our group to make up time that I knew we could lose later in the race.

At this point, I was really having fun! It was raining, I was running in the middle of the night and I had company. I couldn’t think of a better scenario! I’m sure I’m in the minority with this, but the worse the conditions, the better I do!

We continued to alternate running on sections of trail followed by sections of towpath. The trail became un-runnable from all the mud and standing water, so we were forced to run harder on the towpath sections.

Mile 36

Around the mile 36 aid station we headed back into the woods from a longer section of road. We headed up a small hill and immediately slid right back down. We laughed nervously about how bad the conditions were now becoming as we grabbed onto branches and rocks to pull us up the hill. Walking out of the aid station and back onto the trail, we were now surrounded by fog. It was surreal.

As the rain continued to fall we all became quiet, all struggling with our own demons. Every time I looked down at my watch, it seemed like we hadn’t even moved. We just didn’t seem to be gaining any ground and my stomach was beginning to turn. The humidity had been high for the entire race, and food just didn’t sound good. I knew that I was behind on calories but I was pushing through and trusting that I could make it 50 miles feeling this way. Finally after what felt like hours, we came out of the woods and onto the towpath.

Mile 40

I was running out of gas and starting to feel the fatigue from Mohican in my legs. Only 10 more miles and I was ready to just be done. I started counting my steps, pushing myself to run until I counted to 100. The guys kept up with me and we silently kept each other going even though it was now painful.

We reached the end of the path and there was Dave waiting for us! Only 5 more miles, he said! My mind tried to tell me that my time didn’t matter, that I should walk it in. But I pushed against it, knowing that on this day, it did matter. The remainder of the course was slightly different than last year. I hoped that it was easier but the hills were unrelenting. We pushed ourselves knowing that it was almost over. Eventually we came out onto the main street and I started running hard through the finish line in 12 hours 38 minutes. It was 41 minutes faster than last year in much worse conditions.

The biggest difference in this race for me was that I truly put it all out there knowing that I could fail. I knew that I could blow up and not finish. But I also knew deep down that I would never let that happen. I’ve never thought of myself as a fast runner, only as a tough runner. Sometimes we surprise ourselves though. A few hours later, I was resting at my parent’s house when I got a text from a friend telling me that I finished 1st overall woman. We all laughed because I left right after the race! It never even occurred to me to stick around to see how I placed!

Next…

6 weeks until Tuscazoar 100. I’ve never raced this many races in such a short period of time. But this year, I decided that I wanted to see what my body is really capable of. At Burning River, I proved to myself that even if I do test my limits and go out to fast, I’ll always be able to find a way to hold on.

“There’s no passion to be found in playing small- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

Nelson Mandela

In the months leading up to the Mohican 100, I hit my highest mileage ever and was able to consistently train without injury. As soon as taper started though, I started getting into my head. I knew that physically I had done everything that I could, but as usual, the extra rest time gave me too much time to worry about what could go wrong before getting to the starting line. The night before we left, I stubbed my toe and was awake most of the night worried that this would affect my race. Realistically though, I know that as soon as I start any race, somehow these pains go away.

We left for Mohican on Friday afternoon. My daughters, Elle and Maeve, were excited about staying at the Mohican Lodge and I was just ready to start the race. That night, no one slept much. The girls were too excited, and I never sleep well the night before a race. I was confident, though, that my mind would protect me and I would somehow be able to stay awake for 30 hours.

We woke up the next morning at 3:45 am, got dressed, and headed to the starting line in the dark. I felt calm and ready to go.

Loop 1

As soon as the gun went off, I became focused on the present moment. The race is made up of 2 larger loops (around 27 miles each) and two shorter loops (23 miles each). During the first loop I got into a rhythm even though the weather started off very humid. I talked to other runners while also remembering my Dad’s advice of running my own race. About halfway through the first loop, the 100 mile runners were diverted to a very rugged trail. It’s filled with huge, downed trees that we had to give a full body hug to climb over. At the end of this trail there is a hand over hand climb that is around 20 feet tall. (I wish I had a picture!) This is part of the trail that I will never forget!

About a quarter of a mile later, I saw my family. They refilled my water bottles quickly. Gave me more food and I headed back down a steep set of stairs towards the next aid station. Towards the end of the loop, it started raining lightly. It felt good, though, and the humidity wasn’t as bad as it was early in the race. I started running with another runner and the time flew by. When I finished off the loop, Dave checked my feet and drained my blisters. (Happy Father’s Day, Dave! ). I really wanted to get through this race without my usually foot issues, so we were trying to stay on top of the foot care.

Loop 2

The next loop was pretty uneventful. I ran on my own for most of the loop and tried not to become overwhelmed with how many miles I had left. This tends to be where I struggle the most in a hundred. Those miles between the excitement of the start and the real suffering in the last 30 miles. I had some trouble focusing and lost some time.

Loop 3

When I came into the aid station at the start of the 3rd loop, I grabbed my trekking poles and Kogalla light from Dave and quickly took off. I started running with another woman and we decided that we would push each other for the next section. This worked out well and passed the time before I would meet my friend and pacer, Kristen.

At mile 62, I met up with Kristen at the Fire Tower aid station. It was around 11pm, so Dave left with Elle and Maeve to get some sleep at Mohican Lodge. We were both excited to run together and spent the next section catching up on the week. Soon though, we realized that we needed to pick up the pace again. We tried our best to calculate out our pacing but our tired brains struggled with this!

Loop 4

Just as we were leaving the Mohican State Park aid station, the sky started to light up. I really didn’t think much of it, but as we entered the woods again, the rain suddenly came down hard! I grabbed my rain coat and threw it over my hydration pack. All we could do was put our heads down and keep moving forward. A few minutes later, Kristen mentioned that her head lamp had died. Luckily mine was bright enough for both of us, but the rain was so heavy we couldn’t see anything in front of our feet. As the trail flooded, I realized that my feet were going to be destroyed. Any efforts that I had made earlier to keep my feet in check were lost. While this was happening, it never once crossed my mind that this could have been dangerous or that I should turn around.

Finally, as we came into the next aid station, the rain stayed steady, but the lightning had ended. I grabbed more food and we moved into the next section of the trail.

It was then that I hit my lowest point in the race. I was mentally and physically exhausted, and I became overwhelmed and weepy. I wasn’t sure how I would make it 17 more miles. With each step, I felt searing pain in the soles of my feet. I knew that they were swollen and covered in blisters. I told Kristen to tell me when I needed to move faster to stay on pace. It was sheer will that got me through this section. This was my defining moment at Mohican. The moment that completely broke me down and forced me to find within myself the will to keep moving forward. This moment happens in every hundred mile race, but I just never know when it will hit me. It’s these moments that keep me coming back for more.

When we finally reached the next aid station my family was there waiting for me. I told Dave that I needed new socks and shoes. I put dry socks on but my feet were now too swollen for my dry pair of shoes so I was forced to finish the race in the wet pair.

My Dad, who was now pacing me, took off in front of me keeping a quick pace that I struggled to keep up with. He talked me through it, telling me that I would waste less energy by carrying my poles in one hand. I took the advice and willed myself to keep up with him. Even going as fast as I could, I was still 5 feet back.

We passed through the next aid station quickly and talked through the plan. He told me exactly what we needed to do for the rest of the race to make the cut off. It was going to be close but I knew that I would do whatever I had to to make it. We climbed the nonstop switchbacks, and he told me stories to distract my mind from the pain. It was now mid-morning and it was starting to get hot again. As we came into the last section, he told me that we had made up a ton of time and we would make it under the cut off.

The last section of trail is covered with rocks and roots. If you take your mind away from the present even for a second, you will fall on your face. Which is exactly what I did. I hit a root with my torn up feet and before I could even react, I was on the ground. It was one of those full body falls that affects every part of the body. I scrambled to get up and shake it off, vowing to not let my concentration fade. But a few miles later, I did it again!

Finally, as we came into the final stretch, I saw my girls come running towards me. I gathered all of my remaining strength and ran towards the finish line. There is something special about this race. It tests me to my very core and makes me question who I am while I’m out there. Yet, somehow, I push through and finish feeling whole again.

Recovery went better than it ever has after a 100, making me wonder how much further I can push my limits this year. Next up is the Burning River Back 50 in 5 weeks followed by Tuscazoar 100 in September!

“Strength grows in the moments when you think you can’t go on but you keep going anyway.”

Ed Mylett