I ran the Burning River Back 50 last year and got so much out of it! So a week before, I told myself that if I could run 12 miles without pain, I would sign up again. I just ran Mohican 100 5 weeks ago so I was still in recovery mode. With Tuscazoar 100 coming up on September 4th though, I knew that I needed a big effort to give me the confidence to do another hundred so quickly.

Talking through the game plan with my family the night before the race, we decided that I should go out hard and just try to hold on for as long as I could. 50 miles no longer seems as far it used to, so I figured that I had nothing to lose.

Start

The 6pm start was low key. A group of us lined up, they said Go and off we went. About 200 meters into the race, I started talking to another runner named Greg. It was his first 50 mile race. He was going slightly faster than I was comfortable with so I decided that he would be a good person to stick with for a while. Another runner joined us for a while and the three of us chatted and kept an 11 minute pace for the first 7 miles or so on the towpath. It was warm, so I had on my ice bandana and kept taking in fluids and salt caps.

The third runner decided the pace was a little too fast, so she slowed down and it was just the two of us running again. I felt great until around mile 12 when my ear started to clog up as it usually does in humid races. I wasn’t feeling great but I wanted to keeping pushing so I trusted that this discomfort would pass soon enough.

Mile 17

Once we were on the trail, it was starting to get dark so I turned on my Kogalla light. I could remember most of the milestones that we passed including where I sprained my ankle last year. Once past this point, I had more confidence in my ability to stay on my feet! Finally we reached the first crewed aid station at mile 17. It was now completely dark. Dave and I fumbled around in the dark as I threw all of my used wrappers and headphones towards him. He gave me my filled water bottles and off we went. It turns out we actually lost a few soft flask water bottles here!

Greg was more familiar with these trails so I set the pace while he made sure that we didn’t get lost. We continued to make good time and I felt like I was flying. I just let go, not worrying about how I would feel later and not holding back. We continued to rush into aid stations, grabbing food quickly and then getting back to running. Dave continued popping up every few miles to cheer me on. Not knowing when he would pop up turned into a fun game throughout the rest of the race!

Around mile 21, we ran through a corn field which was a highlight for me. The ground felt like foam under my feet and the corn stalks created a tunnel. Next we turned back onto the tow path for a few miles. I decided this is where I would make up some time. I put in my headphones for the first time, found a steady pace and just cruised along. It wasn’t comfortable but I happily sat in this quiet discomfort for the next few miles. For me, there’s nothing better than running in the middle of the night. It’s so calm and peaceful compared to the chaos of every day life.

Mile 23

At the next aid station, we picked up another runner, Josh, who stayed with us for the rest of the race. The three of us kept up steady conversation about family and running until we started to close in on the Oak Hill Aid Station. This is about when we started to hear loud thunder start to rumble. I picked up the pace knowing that we were still at least a mile from seeing our crew. The rain started steadily at first and then the lightning started to light up the sky. By the time we came into the aid station, it was a full on downpour. We all agreed that none of us wanted to be running alone through severe weather and we were keeping a good pace so we would get what we needed and then head out together.

Mile 26

At Oak Hill, I realized that I had passed the halfway point in under 6 hours. I was excited that I was actually sticking to my plan to get to this point before midnight! Once again, Dave pushed us to get out of the aid station quickly. We headed out under the open sky, completely drenched from the rain. The next mile or so was on open roads so I got out ahead of my new friends and set the pace, unfazed by the thunder cracking around us. We all put our heads down, entering another trail single file as things became slick with mud. A few minutes later though, we were on runnable trail and once again I pushed our group to make up time that I knew we could lose later in the race.

At this point, I was really having fun! It was raining, I was running in the middle of the night and I had company. I couldn’t think of a better scenario! I’m sure I’m in the minority with this, but the worse the conditions, the better I do!

We continued to alternate running on sections of trail followed by sections of towpath. The trail became un-runnable from all the mud and standing water, so we were forced to run harder on the towpath sections.

Mile 36

Around the mile 36 aid station we headed back into the woods from a longer section of road. We headed up a small hill and immediately slid right back down. We laughed nervously about how bad the conditions were now becoming as we grabbed onto branches and rocks to pull us up the hill. Walking out of the aid station and back onto the trail, we were now surrounded by fog. It was surreal.

As the rain continued to fall we all became quiet, all struggling with our own demons. Every time I looked down at my watch, it seemed like we hadn’t even moved. We just didn’t seem to be gaining any ground and my stomach was beginning to turn. The humidity had been high for the entire race, and food just didn’t sound good. I knew that I was behind on calories but I was pushing through and trusting that I could make it 50 miles feeling this way. Finally after what felt like hours, we came out of the woods and onto the towpath.

Mile 40

I was running out of gas and starting to feel the fatigue from Mohican in my legs. Only 10 more miles and I was ready to just be done. I started counting my steps, pushing myself to run until I counted to 100. The guys kept up with me and we silently kept each other going even though it was now painful.

We reached the end of the path and there was Dave waiting for us! Only 5 more miles, he said! My mind tried to tell me that my time didn’t matter, that I should walk it in. But I pushed against it, knowing that on this day, it did matter. The remainder of the course was slightly different than last year. I hoped that it was easier but the hills were unrelenting. We pushed ourselves knowing that it was almost over. Eventually we came out onto the main street and I started running hard through the finish line in 12 hours 38 minutes. It was 41 minutes faster than last year in much worse conditions.

The biggest difference in this race for me was that I truly put it all out there knowing that I could fail. I knew that I could blow up and not finish. But I also knew deep down that I would never let that happen. I’ve never thought of myself as a fast runner, only as a tough runner. Sometimes we surprise ourselves though. A few hours later, I was resting at my parent’s house when I got a text from a friend telling me that I finished 1st overall woman. We all laughed because I left right after the race! It never even occurred to me to stick around to see how I placed!

Next…

6 weeks until Tuscazoar 100. I’ve never raced this many races in such a short period of time. But this year, I decided that I wanted to see what my body is really capable of. At Burning River, I proved to myself that even if I do test my limits and go out to fast, I’ll always be able to find a way to hold on.

“There’s no passion to be found in playing small- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

Nelson Mandela

In the months leading up to the Mohican 100, I hit my highest mileage ever and was able to consistently train without injury. As soon as taper started though, I started getting into my head. I knew that physically I had done everything that I could, but as usual, the extra rest time gave me too much time to worry about what could go wrong before getting to the starting line. The night before we left, I stubbed my toe and was awake most of the night worried that this would affect my race. Realistically though, I know that as soon as I start any race, somehow these pains go away.

We left for Mohican on Friday afternoon. My daughters, Elle and Maeve, were excited about staying at the Mohican Lodge and I was just ready to start the race. That night, no one slept much. The girls were too excited, and I never sleep well the night before a race. I was confident, though, that my mind would protect me and I would somehow be able to stay awake for 30 hours.

We woke up the next morning at 3:45 am, got dressed, and headed to the starting line in the dark. I felt calm and ready to go.

Loop 1

As soon as the gun went off, I became focused on the present moment. The race is made up of 2 larger loops (around 27 miles each) and two shorter loops (23 miles each). During the first loop I got into a rhythm even though the weather started off very humid. I talked to other runners while also remembering my Dad’s advice of running my own race. About halfway through the first loop, the 100 mile runners were diverted to a very rugged trail. It’s filled with huge, downed trees that we had to give a full body hug to climb over. At the end of this trail there is a hand over hand climb that is around 20 feet tall. (I wish I had a picture!) This is part of the trail that I will never forget!

About a quarter of a mile later, I saw my family. They refilled my water bottles quickly. Gave me more food and I headed back down a steep set of stairs towards the next aid station. Towards the end of the loop, it started raining lightly. It felt good, though, and the humidity wasn’t as bad as it was early in the race. I started running with another runner and the time flew by. When I finished off the loop, Dave checked my feet and drained my blisters. (Happy Father’s Day, Dave! ). I really wanted to get through this race without my usually foot issues, so we were trying to stay on top of the foot care.

Loop 2

The next loop was pretty uneventful. I ran on my own for most of the loop and tried not to become overwhelmed with how many miles I had left. This tends to be where I struggle the most in a hundred. Those miles between the excitement of the start and the real suffering in the last 30 miles. I had some trouble focusing and lost some time.

Loop 3

When I came into the aid station at the start of the 3rd loop, I grabbed my trekking poles and Kogalla light from Dave and quickly took off. I started running with another woman and we decided that we would push each other for the next section. This worked out well and passed the time before I would meet my friend and pacer, Kristen.

At mile 62, I met up with Kristen at the Fire Tower aid station. It was around 11pm, so Dave left with Elle and Maeve to get some sleep at Mohican Lodge. We were both excited to run together and spent the next section catching up on the week. Soon though, we realized that we needed to pick up the pace again. We tried our best to calculate out our pacing but our tired brains struggled with this!

Loop 4

Just as we were leaving the Mohican State Park aid station, the sky started to light up. I really didn’t think much of it, but as we entered the woods again, the rain suddenly came down hard! I grabbed my rain coat and threw it over my hydration pack. All we could do was put our heads down and keep moving forward. A few minutes later, Kristen mentioned that her head lamp had died. Luckily mine was bright enough for both of us, but the rain was so heavy we couldn’t see anything in front of our feet. As the trail flooded, I realized that my feet were going to be destroyed. Any efforts that I had made earlier to keep my feet in check were lost. While this was happening, it never once crossed my mind that this could have been dangerous or that I should turn around.

Finally, as we came into the next aid station, the rain stayed steady, but the lightning had ended. I grabbed more food and we moved into the next section of the trail.

It was then that I hit my lowest point in the race. I was mentally and physically exhausted, and I became overwhelmed and weepy. I wasn’t sure how I would make it 17 more miles. With each step, I felt searing pain in the soles of my feet. I knew that they were swollen and covered in blisters. I told Kristen to tell me when I needed to move faster to stay on pace. It was sheer will that got me through this section. This was my defining moment at Mohican. The moment that completely broke me down and forced me to find within myself the will to keep moving forward. This moment happens in every hundred mile race, but I just never know when it will hit me. It’s these moments that keep me coming back for more.

When we finally reached the next aid station my family was there waiting for me. I told Dave that I needed new socks and shoes. I put dry socks on but my feet were now too swollen for my dry pair of shoes so I was forced to finish the race in the wet pair.

My Dad, who was now pacing me, took off in front of me keeping a quick pace that I struggled to keep up with. He talked me through it, telling me that I would waste less energy by carrying my poles in one hand. I took the advice and willed myself to keep up with him. Even going as fast as I could, I was still 5 feet back.

We passed through the next aid station quickly and talked through the plan. He told me exactly what we needed to do for the rest of the race to make the cut off. It was going to be close but I knew that I would do whatever I had to to make it. We climbed the nonstop switchbacks, and he told me stories to distract my mind from the pain. It was now mid-morning and it was starting to get hot again. As we came into the last section, he told me that we had made up a ton of time and we would make it under the cut off.

The last section of trail is covered with rocks and roots. If you take your mind away from the present even for a second, you will fall on your face. Which is exactly what I did. I hit a root with my torn up feet and before I could even react, I was on the ground. It was one of those full body falls that affects every part of the body. I scrambled to get up and shake it off, vowing to not let my concentration fade. But a few miles later, I did it again!

Finally, as we came into the final stretch, I saw my girls come running towards me. I gathered all of my remaining strength and ran towards the finish line. There is something special about this race. It tests me to my very core and makes me question who I am while I’m out there. Yet, somehow, I push through and finish feeling whole again.

Recovery went better than it ever has after a 100, making me wonder how much further I can push my limits this year. Next up is the Burning River Back 50 in 5 weeks followed by Tuscazoar 100 in September!

“Strength grows in the moments when you think you can’t go on but you keep going anyway.”

Ed Mylett

Going into this race, I felt surprisingly calm. It was almost as if, I was about to go out for a 50 mile training run. No nerves, just excitement to spend the day running! We showed up at 6:45am for a 7am start time. Everyone lined up with their masks on and they sent us off 3 runners at a time. We ran south on the Towpath for 7.5 mies, then turned around and ran back to Canal Fulton. From here we would run north up to Akron to the 30 mile mark and turn around again to the finish in Canal Fulton.

I decided to take the first few miles slow and took my time getting warmed up. My husband Dave, who was crewing for me was waiting at the first water stop at mile 4.5. I would continue to see him several more times over the next 15 miles. The temperature was a cold 24 degrees at the start but started to warm up quickly. By 10am, it was already 40 degrees. Once I was warmed up, I found myself running a steady 11:30 mile pace. It felt easy, so I decided to stick with that for as long as I could.

Once I got back to Canal Fulton, I grabbed my hat, headphones and more food and water from Dave. He rushed me right back out again so I wouldn’t waste any time. I put on some music and just kept going on the towpath. A few times, I started to wonder if I was going the right way because there was no one in sight.

20 Miles

Around 20 miles in, I started to get bored. I’m used to running races with lots of hills, rocks and roots that require 100% of my focus. This race is almost completely flat which was a mental challenge that I’m not used to. I slowed to a walk briefly, quickly realizing that my legs still felt great so I picked it back up. Finally, after running through a wooded area of the towpath I saw the mile 23 aid station. I grabbed more food from Dave and kept going. There was a huge hill right after the aid station and I welcomed it! It felt great to stretch my legs and use different muscles!

I saw Dave again several miles later. He told me my parents would be showing up with my two daughters, Elle and Maeve. Hearing this lifted my spirits and that next 2 miles flew by. When I saw them, they both ran towards me yelling my name which gave me new energy!

The next stretch felt long. We were running in between the canal and the woods. There were tons of gnats and I was having trouble focusing. I started to go to a dark place in my mind, thinking about the pain and how far I still had to run. I still managed to stay on pace by continuously reminding myself that everyone out here was feeling the same.

Turn Around: 32 miles

I finally reached the turn around point at mile 32, relieved to see Dave, Elle and Maeve again. I changed clothes quickly because by this point in the afternoon it was close to 60 degrees and I was still running in thermal tights. Blisters were starting to form on my big toes, so I also changed my socks. For the next mile, I was back to feel strong again but it wouldn’t last long.

My upper body was starting to get sore from carrying my hydration pack. Even my 7 year old daughter could even tell that I was hurting. But my husband kept encouraging me to push through it and keep running. He mentioned that I was closing in on some other runners ahead. AlI I had to do was keep running and I would catch them. The race went on like this for a while. Every time I felt like I wanted to slow down and walk, I questioned if that was just the fear and doubt or if I really did need to slow down. The answer is always the same. Push through it. When you think you can’t give anymore, keep going. You always have more to give.

Mile 43

Finally with 7 miles left in the race, I started running with another woman. I had been running alone up to this point and it was so nice to get my mind off of the pain. We ran together talking about running and our families for a few miles until I slowed down for a minute to eat some food. On my own once again, I willed myself to keep going even though the blisters that had started to form earlier were now pressing against my shoes. I could tell they were bad but my legs still felt decent so I pushed on.

The last mile of the race, I dug down and found reserves that surprised me. I pushed myself knowing that I wanted to be able to tell myself that I left it all out there. I ran as fast as I could and sprinted through to the finish line for my fastest mile of the day finishing in 10 hours and 23 minutes which is a huge PR for me!

Afterthoughts

This race felt somewhat uneventful compared to my other races. There was no catastrophic events, no nail in my shoe like at Mohican. No extreme pain in my knees, no stomach issues. It was just an overall feeling of constant discomfort that I found a way to make peace with. By relaxing into this pain and waiting it out, I was able to come to terms with it and push myself harder instead of letting the fear of it take over and slow me down.

In the end it was a huge breakthrough for me both mentally and physically. I learned that I can trust my body even when everything is telling me not to. When it seems like it’s so painful that you need to slow down, sometimes you can actually keep running. I went into the pain cave and somehow came out the other side. I gained a confidence from this race that you can only get from experience. This was my 10th ultra and now I can’t wait to see what #11 holds for me!

One of the things that I love about being an ultra runner is answering questions friends have about this crazy sport!  So this post is for the majority of people out there who are curious and probably confused about why anyone would put themselves through this.

1. Do you sleep during 50 or 100 mile races?

No, I personally don’t sleep. If I did, I most certainly wouldn’t make the race cutoffs. The not sleeping part of a 100 mile race is my weakness. During the Indiana Trail 100, I was a walking, shuffling, running zombie once my body realized that it was 3am and I should be in my warm bed. The amazing thing was though, once the sun started to rise, I felt so much better!

2. Do you go to the bathroom during an ultra?

Yes! There are usually porta potties, but if not, you just go along side the trail. You lose all sense of decency after running a certain amount of miles!

3. Do you eat during an ultra?

Definitely! Eating can make or break you in an ultra. I practice eating different foods during my long runs so that I can find foods that don’t upset my stomach. I prefer to eat Spring Energy Gels and drink Tailwind.  Anything longer than 20 miles, I usually start supplementing with real foods like mashed potatoes, rice balls, potato chips and pretzels. I also drink A LOT of Coke. I would never drink it in my daily life, but during an ultra, my body craves the sugar and caffeine.

4. Do you stop at all or sit down during an ultra?

There are chairs at the aid stations at most ultras, but the only time I ever sit down is to change my shoes. The second you sit down, your muscles tense up and it’s so much harder to get moving again! I get in and out of the aid stations as quickly as possible. I grab what I need and keep moving. Every minute that you stop is another minute added to your time. I learned this the hard way.  At the Outdoor X 12 hour Run, I stopped at the main aid station on every single loop and at the end of the day it added up to an entire hour!

5. Why?

This answer is different for everyone. For me, most days , it’s curiosity.  I’m curious about my limits. How far can I run, how far can I push myself both mentally and physically? When I reach my physical limits, how far will my mind take me from there and what will I find on the other side of the suffering that one experiences after running for hours and hours?  Ultra running may seem extreme to some, but to me, that’s where life is in it’s simplest form.  Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. 

“The only limits you have are the limits you believe.” – Wayne Dyer