Going into this race, I felt surprisingly calm. It was almost as if, I was about to go out for a 50 mile training run. No nerves, just excitement to spend the day running! We showed up at 6:45am for a 7am start time. Everyone lined up with their masks on and they sent us off 3 runners at a time. We ran south on the Towpath for 7.5 mies, then turned around and ran back to Canal Fulton. From here we would run north up to Akron to the 30 mile mark and turn around again to the finish in Canal Fulton.

I decided to take the first few miles slow and took my time getting warmed up. My husband Dave, who was crewing for me was waiting at the first water stop at mile 4.5. I would continue to see him several more times over the next 15 miles. The temperature was a cold 24 degrees at the start but started to warm up quickly. By 10am, it was already 40 degrees. Once I was warmed up, I found myself running a steady 11:30 mile pace. It felt easy, so I decided to stick with that for as long as I could.

Once I got back to Canal Fulton, I grabbed my hat, headphones and more food and water from Dave. He rushed me right back out again so I wouldn’t waste any time. I put on some music and just kept going on the towpath. A few times, I started to wonder if I was going the right way because there was no one in sight.

20 Miles

Around 20 miles in, I started to get bored. I’m used to running races with lots of hills, rocks and roots that require 100% of my focus. This race is almost completely flat which was a mental challenge that I’m not used to. I slowed to a walk briefly, quickly realizing that my legs still felt great so I picked it back up. Finally, after running through a wooded area of the towpath I saw the mile 23 aid station. I grabbed more food from Dave and kept going. There was a huge hill right after the aid station and I welcomed it! It felt great to stretch my legs and use different muscles!

I saw Dave again several miles later. He told me my parents would be showing up with my two daughters, Elle and Maeve. Hearing this lifted my spirits and that next 2 miles flew by. When I saw them, they both ran towards me yelling my name which gave me new energy!

The next stretch felt long. We were running in between the canal and the woods. There were tons of gnats and I was having trouble focusing. I started to go to a dark place in my mind, thinking about the pain and how far I still had to run. I still managed to stay on pace by continuously reminding myself that everyone out here was feeling the same.

Turn Around: 32 miles

I finally reached the turn around point at mile 32, relieved to see Dave, Elle and Maeve again. I changed clothes quickly because by this point in the afternoon it was close to 60 degrees and I was still running in thermal tights. Blisters were starting to form on my big toes, so I also changed my socks. For the next mile, I was back to feel strong again but it wouldn’t last long.

My upper body was starting to get sore from carrying my hydration pack. Even my 7 year old daughter could even tell that I was hurting. But my husband kept encouraging me to push through it and keep running. He mentioned that I was closing in on some other runners ahead. AlI I had to do was keep running and I would catch them. The race went on like this for a while. Every time I felt like I wanted to slow down and walk, I questioned if that was just the fear and doubt or if I really did need to slow down. The answer is always the same. Push through it. When you think you can’t give anymore, keep going. You always have more to give.

Mile 43

Finally with 7 miles left in the race, I started running with another woman. I had been running alone up to this point and it was so nice to get my mind off of the pain. We ran together talking about running and our families for a few miles until I slowed down for a minute to eat some food. On my own once again, I willed myself to keep going even though the blisters that had started to form earlier were now pressing against my shoes. I could tell they were bad but my legs still felt decent so I pushed on.

The last mile of the race, I dug down and found reserves that surprised me. I pushed myself knowing that I wanted to be able to tell myself that I left it all out there. I ran as fast as I could and sprinted through to the finish line for my fastest mile of the day finishing in 10 hours and 23 minutes which is a huge PR for me!

Afterthoughts

This race felt somewhat uneventful compared to my other races. There was no catastrophic events, no nail in my shoe like at Mohican. No extreme pain in my knees, no stomach issues. It was just an overall feeling of constant discomfort that I found a way to make peace with. By relaxing into this pain and waiting it out, I was able to come to terms with it and push myself harder instead of letting the fear of it take over and slow me down.

In the end it was a huge breakthrough for me both mentally and physically. I learned that I can trust my body even when everything is telling me not to. When it seems like it’s so painful that you need to slow down, sometimes you can actually keep running. I went into the pain cave and somehow came out the other side. I gained a confidence from this race that you can only get from experience. This was my 10th ultra and now I can’t wait to see what #11 holds for me!

Obstacles can’t stop you. Weather can’t stop you. Heartbreak can’t stop you. Failure can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.

Cameron Haines

I’m beginning with a quote because this one seems fitting. I felt confident and ready to take on whatever this race held for me. I had put in the miles and the early mornings, placed myself in uncomfortable situations all year just for the sole purpose of strengthening my mind for this event. My taper hadn’t been great. I fell hard on a trail run a week earlier, doubted myself and my training and at moments questioned why I was doing this. But here at the starting line of the Mohican 100, my mind was clear and I already knew that I would finish this race.

The Start

We started in waves due to the new Covid restrictions. Everyone in the 5:08 wave ran down the road with 3 hours of darkness still ahead of us. The hills were immediate and unrelenting. I tried to take them one at a time, glancing back at the headlamps behind me every time I reached the top. The full moon was bright and I felt calm.

I encountered the first obstacle of the race early on. Every now and then, I would step down on my heel and feel a small rock hitting my foot. I know that something this small can quickly turn into a big problem if you don’t take care of it right away. So at mile 6, I took off my shoe and shook it to remove the rock. Unfortunately, nothing came out. I looked into my shoe and instead saw a rusty nail poking through the bottom! I had a moment of panic and my mind raced to figure out how I was going to solve this problem. Was this really happening? Who gets a rusty nail stuck in their running shoe during a 100 mile race?! I quickly put the shoe back on, refusing to let my thoughts get away from me and go to the worst case scenario.

Mile 7

Luckily the first aid station was a mile away. According to my race plan, I wasn’t supposed to stop here but I knew I needed to get some help. I asked the guys at the aid station if anyone had duct tape. Everyone was extremely nice, but they were lacking the urgency that I was feeling at that moment. They asked if I would like to sit down in the warm building behind them while they looked for the duct tape. I declined, knowing that that is the worst thing I could possible do in this situation.

Finally, I had the duct tape in hand. I did my best to cover the rusty nail and set off again trying to make up time. I figured that if I ran on my toes, maybe I would avoid puncturing my heel with the nail. Realistically, I knew that I would pay for this change in running form later in the race. But I would have to deal with the consequences later.

The next few miles, I worked hard to remind myself to pay attention to trail markers, continue to take in calories all while enjoying being out on this beautiful trail. It was overwhelming to say the least. Eventually, I came out to a road and I spotted my husband, Dave. I quickly told him that there was a nail in my shoe and that he needed to get me another pair of shoes from the car. His response was “no, I can’t do that.” According to race rules, runners can only receive aid at designated areas or at aid stations. This wasn’t one of those designated areas. I wasn’t happy, but I understood so I told him I would figure it out and see him at mile 14.

As soon as I turned to start running again, I found a group of runners and started talking to another runner. It was the distraction that I needed. I continued to talk and run on my toes all the way to the next aid station at mile 13.5 where I had another pair of shoes waiting for me in my drop bag!

Mile 13.5

I left the aid station quickly, feeling like I was starting the race over again. On the other hand, I no longer had this distraction of the nail in my shoes and I was once again faced with the reality in front of me. I do well when the odds are stacked against me. I become determined and solely focused on the task at hand. It’s my super power and it has gotten me through some very daunting situations over the past five years. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to wait too long for another obstacle!

Around mile 20, my right knee started to hurt. Every time I tried to run, a shooting pain ran through the side of the inside of my knee. My thoughts turned dark as I wondered how I would run 80 miles with this pain. Just as we turned off gravel roads and back onto the trail again, my ear became congested. Have you ever had that feeling where your ear clogs up when your running and everything sounds like an echo? It can be disorienting and it happens to me on long runs occasionally. I pushed on for a few miles like this, until I finally started to focus my thoughts again. I decided not to give the pain in my knee a voice and started alternating running and walking and calming myself down with deep breaths to clear up my ear.

Mile 23

As I came into the next aid station, I saw a familiar face that I recognized from the training run a few weeks earlier. I started talking and running with my new friend, Carol and my ear cleared up almost immediately! We ran together for a while picking up another runner along the way. We chatted about races, counted beer cans in the road and made up a lot of time.

Mile 29.5

I came into the crewed aid station at mile 29.5 in great spirits, excited to see my parents, who had just arrived and grab some food. Quickly, I scanned the area and realized that my crew was not here! I worried I would run out of food before I saw them again at mile 39. I started to panic. When other runners and crews realized what was going on, everyone chipped in and graciously offered me their food! I found out later that because I had picked up my pace, I was way ahead of schedule. My crew arrived later and waited for a while wondering where I was. I continued on, running down a paved bike path for about 10 miles, talking with other runners and doing my best to manage my knee pain.

Mile 39.5

This was the beginning of the Glenmont loop that I had run during a training run a few weeks before. I knew going in that it was 21 miles with 3,000 feet of climbing long and unforgiving hills and multiple stream crossings. I also knew that it would get dark before I finished this loop so I grabbed warm tights, my Kogalla light, my trekking poles and more food. In and out out of the aid station in under 5 minutes. This entire loop, although grueling, turned out to be somewhat slow and uneventful.

Mile 61

I came into the mile 61 aid station 1.5 hours after my predicted time. Dave and my pacer, Kristin were there wondering what took me so long! Dave let me know right away that I would be fighting the cutoff if I didn’t pick up my pace. My feet had been burning for a while from getting wet and I knew that they were covered in blisters. Dave quickly assessed my feet, put new socks on me and let me know that they wasn’t much he could do for me at this point. Kristin and I set off on the next Glenmont loop. I told her that my knee hurt but I was just going to gut it out from here on out. This is when the race actually began for me.

I pushed harder and dug down deeper than I ever have. I started running the hills and making up time wherever I could. Kristin did her part to keep me going. Telling me when to pick it up, reminding me to eat and trying to keep my spirits high by making me laugh. We passed more people on this loop than I had the entire race up to this point.

I went through highs where I was laughing with Kristin. Then a mile later, I would hit another low and start to feel emotional and weepy. It was a roller coaster, but I also knew in the back of my mind that it wouldn’t last forever. I had to do everything that I could to make up time and finish under the cutoff.

Mile 73

About halfway through the loop, I started having stomach issues. I had to stop on the side of the trail every 15-20 minutes! I asked Kristin to keep watch for other runners coming down the trail. My poor pacer had no idea what she was signing up for! At this point in the race, it becomes almost primal. I don’t think I have ever been so uncomfortable. I knew I needed calories but my stomach was a mess and I had no appetite.

A few miles from the end of this loop, we finally came out of the woods onto a gravel road. We looked up and the blue moon was shining bright, while the clouds passed over. It was breathtaking. We admired it for a moment and then I put my head back down and continued to move forward.

Eventually, we made it through the loop, almost 2 hours quicker than I had finished the Glenmont loop the first time!

Mile 83

At the mile 83 aid station, I met up with my Dad. He’s an experienced ultrarunner, so I asked him if I should change my shoes since my feet were pretty torn up. He reminded me that it’s not your shoes that are going to get you to the finish line. At this point in the race, it’s easy to get caught up on shoes, gear and nutrition. Everyone is in a lot of pain at mile 83 but the only thing you need to get through it is a strong mind. He asked me how I was feeling. My response was always the same anytime someone asked. “I feel fine.” I don’t give myself the luxury of dwelling on the pain I’m experiencing during a race. This is how I’m able to keep moving forward for so many hours without ever sitting down.

As we left the mile 83 aid station, my Dad kept a good pace and I willed myself to keep up with him. We talked to other runners as we pushed on. Some of them joining us for a bit but then giving into their own demons and slowing back down. The hills continued on, one after another. I told myself “I’m a good uphill runner, that’s my strength”. My mind listened and my body continued to respond.

Mile 93

We arrived at the mile 93 aid station and saw my mom and Dave. I was so excited to be so close to the finish, that I grabbed a cup of coke, completely forgot to take food or water with me and charged right through. A few minutes later, it began to rain and the wind started to pick up. It took my mind off of the pain and my stomach discomfort so it was actually a welcome distraction. Eventually it stopped and my Dad talked me through the miles, giving me advice about running ultras and telling me stories. My stomach continued to turn and my spirits started getting low again.

Isn’t it funny how as ultra runners, we are competitive not only about running, but about how much we have each suffered? My Dad told me stories about having to stop on the trail 26 times in one race because of diarrhea! And not only that, but giving himself poison ivy in the process! He won this round, I think my total was around 15 or so.

The last few miles of any race are always the longest and this was no different. Despite my Dad’s best efforts to distract me, I felt awful. Just when I wondered if I would have to finish this race with a bad attitude, we passed by a woman and her daughter who had a mini aid station set up in their front yard. After a cup of the best apple cider I’ve ever tasted, I was a new person!

A few minutes later, it started hailing but we kept pushing. I was shuffling along as fast as I could. We came up to the corner and saw my mom and Dave waiting for us. Half mile to go! I felt emotion well up inside of me, but nothing came out. After holding it together for over 30 hours, I was too exhausted for tears of joy. I mustered all the energy that I had left and ran the last half mile through the finish line.

Mile 101.3

I finished the race in 30 hours and 29 minutes. 30 hours sounds like a long time to be on your feet, but I spent every minute of it focused on being where my feet were and the time flew by. Every time I run an ultra, I find strength from the dark corners of myself that I didn’t even know were there.

I tell myself that 100 miles really isn’t that far and my mind believes me. In that last mile of the race, I thought about what I had overcome; a nail in my shoe (yes, I called my doctor and my tetanus shot is up to date!), painful blisters and lost toenails (2.5 of them!) , stomach issues, rain and hail. Through all of it though, I stayed focused on moving forward and never gave up the hope that the lows would pass. I understand now why so many runners come back to Mohican year after year. The community, the spirit and the gorgeous landscape. But there’s also that special something that I can’t quite place that has me thinking about signing up for more in 2021.

I have always been afraid of running in the dark alone. The best way to overcome a fear is to face it head on.  I signed up for The Burning River Back 50 because it started at 6pm. I knew that I would have to run all night alone to get to the finish line. It would force me to overcome my fear.

The Burning River 100 is put on by Western Reserve Racing. It was initially supposed to be held in July, but due to Covid, was pushed back until August. The full race is a 100 mile out and back race. It’s broken up into a point to point front mile race and a back 50 mile race. It wasn’t on my initial race schedule for the year. But by August, I was willing to sign up for anything!

One of the biggest challenges about running a night race is that I was forced to sit around all day and wait! I typically run first thing in the morning, so skipping my morning run left me feeling out of sorts. I tried to rest, as much as a parent to 2 young kids is able to rest, anyway! We left for the race at 5:15pm. At 5:50, we got out of the car and head to the starting line. Everyone was in a great mood! After months of Covid cancellations and delays, we were all just excited to be at an actual in-person race!

The Start- Mile 16

The first few miles went quickly. It was still hot but we were running on a mostly flat, paved path. So I was able to bank some time while it was still light out.  As I headed onto the trail into the woods, the sun started to go down, and darkness came quickly. I spent most of the next 6 miles or so alone, navigating the trail and reminding myself to take in calories. Around mile 12, we came up to a steep hill in an open field. I barely noticed the climb because being out there in the dark with the moon shining over the top of the hill was breathtaking.

As we once again headed back into the woods, I felt really good. I started down a steep, uneven staircase. My foot turned hard and I fell on top of it hearing a loud crunch. A runner had just come up behind me and pulled me up off of the ground. He asked what I need and I said I just needed to walk it off. He wasn’t feeling great either. So we chatted about our families for a few miles up until the next aid station.  My husband, Dave was there waiting for me. I told him about my ankle, and he assured me that I would be ok. I grabbed a few honey stinger waffles from him, threw on a long sleeve shirt, and he sent me on my way!  

At some point in the middle of the night…

Over the next 4 miles, I started to become overwhelmed with the darkness. I questioned myself about why I even chose to run at night when running in the daylight would have been so much easier.  There is always a point during an ultra where you begin to question why you’re out there. Usually for me it doesn’t come quite this early on in the race though.  My ankle hurt and I kept tripping over roots.

A few miles later, I came out of the woods to cross the road and saw that Dave was parked there waiting for me. He asked me how I was doing. I told him that my ankle was throbbing and I was struggling. Once again, he reminded me that my ankle would be fine. I just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Right there, I decided that I was done feeling sorry for myself. This was what I came for and it was time to figure it out! I started by thinking about the things that I could control in this situation.

Maybe I couldn’t control the pain or the fact that it was dark out. However, I could control how many calories I was taking in. I could also control keeping an eye out for trail markers so that I wouldn’t get lost. Most importantly, I could control my mindset. After a mile or so, I was enjoying myself again. I was in the moment, focused solely on moving forward and staying positive. No matter what.  

My eyes were starting to get heavy. So at the next aid station, I asked for a cup of coke for the caffeine. I left with 2 other runners who were running their first hundred. We chatted for a mile or so until they picked up the pace. Again, I was alone for the next 3-4 miles. I focused hard on the trail and became very aware of each course marking that I passed.  I came up to an ankle turning corn field on the side of a dark road. The course led me through the corn field, up to the road and back before heading onto the tow path.

The tow path was a welcome sight! It was smooth and easy to run. So I picked up the pace as much as I could and pushed through to the next aid station. Once I got back in a rhythm, I felt great! I refused to let my mind wander to who or what might be out at this time of the night. Eventually, I came to a trail that looked familiar! I have spent some time hiking with my Dad at Oak Hill so I knew where I was which was so comforting. I also knew that that I was somewhat close to the aid station in the parking lot where Dave would meet me again.

Mile 26

Once I got there, Dave gave me new water bottles and stuffed some more snacks into my pack. Once again assuring me that my ankle would be just fine and sent me on my way. From here, I came out to a rolling, open road. It was completely dark and there was no other runners in sight. Self doubt threatened my thoughts. I really had to take control my my mind at this point.

I could see lightening in the distance and shadows covered the road. On any other day, I would have been very afraid being out at this time of night. But in a race, I know that I have to control the controllable. So I started to talk out loud which was comforting.  There was a long stretch of miles where I was on the open road, back into the trails and then back onto the road again. It went on like this for a long time and I didn’t see another person for miles.

Just after the last aid station, my spirits were high again as I saw Dave again at the top of the hill. He once again asked how I felt. I said “Easy Day, I feel amazing”! Everything hurt and I was exhausted. But the body believes what the mind tells it.

Mile 49-50

Near 7am, I realized that I was about a mile from the finish. I believe that we always have more to give. So I started picking up my feet and running as hard as I could. I crossed the finish line and finished the race off with my fastest mile of the day.

Post Race

After the race, my ankle was swollen and I could barely walk on it for a few hours. It was worth it though. There was no way that I was going to drop out, even with a sprained ankle. I ran the Back 50 to see what I was made of. I welcomed any obstacle that stood in my way. Now more than ever, I’m convinced that we are all capable of so much more than we believe. Sometimes we just need to test ourselves and come out on the other side even stronger.

I recently started coaching with Team RunRun and have had such a positive experience, I wanted to share….

Athlete

I started working with Team RunRun in June 2019 as an athlete. I was training for my first 100 mile race, and felt like I needed a little more guidance in getting there. I found Matt Urbanski after some internet searching, and after an email and a phone call, I signed up! Matt is the co-owner (with his wife, Julie) of Team RunRun.

Team RunRun’s coaching is done via an online training platform, email and text message. Working with Matt gave me the confidence to push myself to run further and faster in my training without the fear of getting injured. Matt was always encouraging and positive, while still pushing and challenging me to be at my best. Prior to this, I had never thought about using a coach as an adult. Now, I know that there is a such a powerful benefit to working with a coach who can guide you to reach your goals.

Coach

In July 2020, I made the decision to become a coach for Team RunRun. I have always been very passionate about all things running! I spend a lot of time talking about running, planning for upcoming races and researching new training methods. I’ve been a coach for my daughter’s running club at school for the past few years, and love the enthusiasm the kids already have for running and moving their bodies. When the pandemic hit and all activities were cancelled, I felt like something was missing in my life. During one of my early morning runs ( when I often get my best ideas!) it hit me that I should try online coaching.

I’m now coaching several athletes and I absolutely love it! Matt and Julie at Team RunRun have been very supportive and want to see their coaches and athletes succeed. Even while they are living in New Zealand, they are super responsive to questions. They have created a community for both athletes and coaches to support one another through Facebook, Strava and online forums on Teamrunrun.com. Athletes can also access gear reviews, race reports and race intel as well as a new ambassador program. I’m excited to be a part of this growing company and can’t wait to see where my coaching journey takes me!

Coaching Info

If you have every considered working with a coach to help you reach the next level in your running, let me know! In addition to training, I also offer strength training for injury prevention, gear recommendations, and most importantly, mental coaching! We are all capable of so much more than we believe!

Here’s the link to my profile: https://teamrunrun.com/coach/sarah-forman-columbus-running-coach/

Or check out this post for more info: https://thisultraadventure.com/running-coach/

In the past, I have been resistant to the idea of running a virtual race. But with no upcoming races in sight, I needed something to get excited about, something to jump start my training. The Rise Up Virtual Ultra popped up on my Instagram feed earlier this week, and I knew right away that I wanted to enter.

Here’s the concept: Run for 6 hours straight, don’t stop your watch for any reason, and upload your results through ultrasignup.com. Pretty straight forward. They also offer 12 hour, 60k, 100 mile and 200 mile race options. The deadline to complete your race is June 30th. I was definitely tempted by the 12 hour race but decided to ease back into racing with the 6 hour option.

The morning of the race, I woke up at 5:30am, grabbed some light food, and got to work setting up my mini aid station in the driveway. I stocked it with Tailwind, Spring Energy Gels, and chocolate chip cookies. When everything was in place and I felt ready, I started my watch and took off. It was 6:37am.

Hour 1

The first few miles felt slow. I was already getting in my head, counting down the miles I had left to reach my goal of 30 miles. Never a good way to start off a race. I reminded myself that I’ve gotten through every other ultra that I’ve entered by taking it one mile at a time, and staying in the moment.

Hours 2-3

5 miles into the Rise Up Virtual Ultra, I met up with my friend Kristin, who agreed to join me for a few hours of my race. We headed towards the Olentangy Bike Trail, talking and getting caught up on the week’s events. Having someone to talk to made the miles fly by, and I felt really strong at this point.

Hour 4

Kristin and I parted ways right around mile 18. After this, I called my husband to check in, and he said that he and my two daughters were out for a walk on the next street over. As they came into view, they cheered me on, along with some of my neighbors. My oldest daughter even joined me for a few minutes of the run! Seeing them gave me a burst of energy and reminded me of why I search for my limits through running.

Hour 5

At the beginning of hour 5, I started to hit a wall. My lower back started to get sore and my legs felt heavy. Right after I hit mile 20, I called my mom for some encouragement. We talked for about a mile, and she reminded me to focus on my form and pick up my feet, both helpful suggestions for a tired runner. After the call, I started to feel better. One more quick stop back at my aid station for some coke and water, and I moved straight into hour 6.

Hour 6

As I started the last hour, I began to think about perception. No matter what the race distance is, be it a half marathon or a hundred, the last few miles feel hard. During the Indiana Trail 100, I felt great at mile 25. Yet, here I was today at mile 25 and I was suffering.

The mind will always tell you that everything hurts. It will try to convince you to stop running and go back home, to sit down and be comfortable. The decision to finish a race or quit isn’t just about getting a medal, or bragging rights, or a PR on Strava. The decision is a choice between comfort and growth.

My legs ached with pain. I was hungry from not taking in enough calories and I was ready to sit down. Despite this, nothing could have stopped me from finishing. I chose growth. I called my husband to tell him that I only had about 25 minutes left. He said, “Good job. Now see if you can push yourself and surpass your goal of 30 miles.” I knew he was right. There is always more left to give. I kept running, and finished The Rise Up Virtual Ultra with 30.78 miles in 6 hours.

After the Race

Luckily, I finished just as my kids were going down for nap time. I was able to shower and lay down for a few minutes, until hunger got the best of me. My stomach felt like a bottomless pit for the rest of the day, which is pretty typical after a long run. I ended up going on a couple walks with my family, which loosened things up, and probably helped with my recovery. I ended up talking to several neighbors who were pretty confused as to why they saw me run past their house multiple times over the course of the morning. It’s always kind of fun hearing other people’s perspective, and reminds me that what we do isn’t exactly normal!

The next morning, I felt surprisingly good. Both my knees were a little achy, but other than that, things felt ok! In signing up for the Rise Up Virtual Ultra, I never doubted that I could reach my goal. It’s been a few months since I’ve run that far, and I knew that jumping up from a 12 mile long run to a 30+ mile race was risky, but I think that the body remembers distance. It’s the mind that usually needs more convincing.

Up next…Mohican 50 (unless it gets cancelled).

You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot choose both. – Brene Brown

So obviously my 50 mile race for March was cancelled and the upcoming races on the schedule are in question. I decided that with no upcoming race in sight, I would take two weeks off of running to let some old injuries heal. As most runners know, the thought of taking any time off of running is terrifying. How would I cope with the stress in my life, especially considering everything that is happening in the world currently?

I honestly don’t know how I could have achieved all of my goals this year, if I hadn’t given my knee the time it so desperately needed, to rest and let the inflammation go down. That worry was in the back of my mind during every long run and every hard workout. It was exhausting.

I realized that I could let this get me down or I could choose to look at it differently. Instead of getting up to run every morning, I started doing Pure Barre and yoga from home and getting out for walks as often as I could. Im strengthening my mind and body from the ground up.

I started running again 3 weeks ago and am building my mileage gradually. This time, pain free. I’ve kept up with the added yoga and strength training and I feel stronger than I have in a long time. It’s not easy to get up every day and work out when you don’t have a race on the schedule. It’s as much a mental challenge as it is physical. Despite this, getting out for a run adds some much needed normalcy to the day.

During my runs lately, I let my mind wander to the possibilities of the future. I plan what I can do today to ensure that 2020 ends on a strong note. My one big goal race of the year is the Rim to River 100 on November 7th. I don’t know if it will happen or not. But I can make sure that if it does, I will be at the starting line more prepared than I ever have been. And if it doesn’t happen, there will always be another race. I will have lost nothing by putting myself out there every day, pushing to see what I am capable of.

The unknown is always scary and there has been plenty of unknown lately. If you can take it one hour at a time, one day at a time, one mile at a time, eventually you will get to the finish line.

A race is a both a test of your training and your reward for it. On Sunday, I ran the Rocks and Roots Trail Series 30k. It was my first race since the Indiana Trail 100 and I went in with very few expectations. Over the past month, I’ve been focusing on increasing my speed and strength, adding in rowing and Pure Barre classes twice a week. Rather than setting a time goal, my plan was to put my training to the test by pushing myself hard from the gun and to hold on for as long as I could.

1st Loop (North)

The course is set up as a figure 8, split into a north loop and a south loop. As we took off on the north loop, the temperature was clear and around 32 degrees, perfect race day weather. Everyone was excited to start moving, jockeying for position on the small bridges and boards, trying to avoid the mud and standing water in the first half mile.

As we settled in, I felt at ease pushing to a pace that hadn’t felt even remotely comfortable in the past. It felt effortless, and my mind wandered to the endless possibilities of my upcoming goals this year. I’m pretty sure I had a smile on my face the entire loop because I was just so happy to be out on the trails racing again. Even a quick fall over a tree branch didn’t phase me and I finished the first 10k in 1:14, ran straight through the aid station and started on the South loop.

2nd Loop (South)

On the South loop, there are multiple stream crossings and tons of downed trees across the trail. As I started into the loop, I chatted with a few other runners about their upcoming races and kept pushing.

I started losing momentum about a mile in, slowing down to get over the fallen trees and wading through the first stream crossing. At this point, I began to get in my head. Questioning how long I could keep up this pace, and also noticing the aches and pains starting to creep in. This led to losing my footing on the technical terrain because I was losing focus on the trail.

This is the battle that we all fight in a race of any length. Can we overcome those voices in our head that tell us that we can’t do it? Luckily, I was able to catch myself and end the downward spiral fairly quickly. I knew that my husband and kids were waiting for me at the end of the loop. Seeing them cheering me on reminded me to get out of my head, be in the moment, keep moving forward and work harder to stay positive.

3rd Loop (North)

As I re-traced the North loop, the temperature had risen to a comfortable 38 degrees. The ground was now soft and there was no way around the mud that now covered the trail. I did my best to stay on my feet, often sliding down the slick declines.

I kept up my pacing until around mile 14 or so when I hit a root with my shoe and turned my ankle. As I yelled out in pain and slowed to a walk, a runner came up behind me and asked if I was OK. I let her know that I just needed a second to shake it off, and she could pass by me. Instead of going by, though, she stayed with me. In a minute or two I forgot all about my ankle as we continued on for the remainder of the race together.

In trail running, we are all out there to see what we are made of. To overcome those doubts that pass through the mind. It’s a race, but when you fall out there on the trails, there is almost always someone there to help you back up.

I finished the race in 4:05:08 which was 39 minutes faster than my time last year. I went into this race with very few expectations but I came of it motivated to work even harder.

Onto the next…50 Miles at The Get Lucky 50/50 on March 21st.

“You are only as mentally tough as your life demands you to be. An easy life fashions a mind that can only handle ease. A challenging life builds a mind that can handle challenge. Like a muscle that atrophies without use, mental strength fades unless it is tested. When life doesn’t challenge you, challenge yourself.“

-James Clear

One of the things that I love about being an ultra runner is answering questions friends have about this crazy sport!  So this post is for the majority of people out there who are curious and probably confused about why anyone would put themselves through this.

1. Do you sleep during 50 or 100 mile races?

No, I personally don’t sleep. If I did, I most certainly wouldn’t make the race cutoffs. The not sleeping part of a 100 mile race is my weakness. During the Indiana Trail 100, I was a walking, shuffling, running zombie once my body realized that it was 3am and I should be in my warm bed. The amazing thing was though, once the sun started to rise, I felt so much better!

2. Do you go to the bathroom during an ultra?

Yes! There are usually porta potties, but if not, you just go along side the trail. You lose all sense of decency after running a certain amount of miles!

3. Do you eat during an ultra?

Definitely! Eating can make or break you in an ultra. I practice eating different foods during my long runs so that I can find foods that don’t upset my stomach. I prefer to eat Spring Energy Gels and drink Tailwind.  Anything longer than 20 miles, I usually start supplementing with real foods like mashed potatoes, rice balls, potato chips and pretzels. I also drink A LOT of Coke. I would never drink it in my daily life, but during an ultra, my body craves the sugar and caffeine.

4. Do you stop at all or sit down during an ultra?

There are chairs at the aid stations at most ultras, but the only time I ever sit down is to change my shoes. The second you sit down, your muscles tense up and it’s so much harder to get moving again! I get in and out of the aid stations as quickly as possible. I grab what I need and keep moving. Every minute that you stop is another minute added to your time. I learned this the hard way.  At the Outdoor X 12 hour Run, I stopped at the main aid station on every single loop and at the end of the day it added up to an entire hour!

5. Why?

This answer is different for everyone. For me, most days , it’s curiosity.  I’m curious about my limits. How far can I run, how far can I push myself both mentally and physically? When I reach my physical limits, how far will my mind take me from there and what will I find on the other side of the suffering that one experiences after running for hours and hours?  Ultra running may seem extreme to some, but to me, that’s where life is in it’s simplest form.  Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. 

“The only limits you have are the limits you believe.” – Wayne Dyer

The week of my first 100 mile race, The Indiana Trail 100, I was a lot calmer than I had thought I might be. I spent an obsessive amount of time going through my drop bags and looking over my very detailed race plan but I knew that I was ready. I had spent every day of the last 10 months completely focused on finishing this race. After running the Glacial Esker 40 miler at Chain O’Lakes in April, I knew that this would be a really well organized race and all I would have to think was getting to that finish line.

We checked into our bed and breakfast, I set everything out and barely slept because I was so excited to get started.  When we arrived at Chain O’ Lakes State Park the next morning at 5:30am, it didn’t feel real. My crew (which included my husband, Dave, and my parents) and I waited in the tent for the the race director to tell us to get to the starting line. It was a lot colder then I expected at 28 degrees. After so many months of training and anticipation, I was feeling excited, focused and just ready to get moving.

During the first few miles, it felt surreal. I kept thinking “I’m just out here with 400 other runners for my early morning long run”! I took it easy and let my body ease into the run. After chatting with a few other runners on the first loop, I picked up the pace a little then eased up when I saw my crew, making sure to take my time and to eat early and often to avoid stomach issues later in the race. The first loop (20 miles) flew by. I was taking each mile as it came. Every time my mind started to think about how far I still had to run, I pulled it back and reminded myself to stay in the moment. This was my first 100, and I wanted to make every moment count. 

I started to get a little tired toward the end of the 2nd loop at about 36 miles when I met another runner who was also struggling. I pulled up along side of him, grateful for the distraction from my thoughts. We started talking about some of our favorite ultra runners (Courtney Dauwalter and David Goggins) and we both picked up the pace. It’s amazing how during a race this long, you can be struggling one minute, and the next you feel better and are having a great time with a new friend! Sharing the trail with all these amazing people was inspiring. Everyone had a different background but we all had the same crazy goal to run 100 miles. 

At 40 miles, I picked up my first pacer, my husband Dave, and I was so excited to tell him all about my day! The 12 miles together flew by as I chattered away and soon we were at mile 52 where I left Dave and picked up my Mom to finish the 3rd loop. This is where I would learn the first big lesson of the day, always pack extra headlamps! We underestimated how dark it would be on the trail at this point in the day and the sun went down quickly. We had 2 small flashlights, but decided to only use one so we would have a back up in case the batteries died. This slowed us down as I stumbled around the trail over the rocks and roots but we still managed to finish the loop strong. 

At mile 60, I changed into a fresh pair of shoes and warmer clothes. I would soon discover that I had just made my second major mistake; changing when everything I had on was working just fine. I picked up my Dad at the main aid station for miles 60-80. I still felt pretty decent for the first half of the loop, but started noticing what I thought was cramping in my right calf. I took some salt pills hoping to fix the issue. About this time, I noticed that the shoes I changed into didn’t have enough cushion for this distance. The soles of my feet started burning and I knew that I was developing some bad blisters. 

At the mile 72 aid station I had another pair of shoes waiting in my drop bag. So I changed into my 3rd pair of trail shoes of the day. My husband taped up my blisters, hoping that it would save my feet. But it was too late, and they continued to deteriorate. At this point, I started getting very clumsy in the dark and kept kicking tree roots with my toes which sent pain shooting up my legs. My Dad talked me through the loop, directing his flashlight on the ground in front of my feet, and we worked on a pacing plan to get me through the rest of the race under the cutoff. I had been super positive all day. But between mile 72 and the next aid station at mile 77, the dark thoughts start to creep in and I fought hard to keep myself focused on the goal, and ignore how much it hurt. 

At 80 miles, I picked up Dave to pace me the rest of the way. Up to this point, I hadn’t really been that tired. I was in pain and my legs felt the exhaustion but I still felt wide awake. About a mile after I started running with Dave, it was like my body realized that it was now the early hours of the morning and I should be sleeping in my warm bed. I could barely keep my eyes open. For a split second my eyes would close and I would stumble towards the side of the trail. I was literally falling asleep while I was running! At the mile 83 aid station, I admitted that I couldn’t think straight or even focus enough to decide what food to eat. I was a little worried that maybe this wasn’t normal (turns out it is normal after running 83 miles!) but I knew I had to keep moving . This went on for several hours. In an effort to keep me awake, Dave would count down from 60 seconds and I would run (shuffle) as fast as I could and then we would alternate hiking for a minute. I was desperate to stay awake and was pretty miserable in general. But even in those dark and painful moments, there was a little voice in the back of my head reminding me that this would pass and I needed to leave everything out on the trail.

Around 7:30am, we counted down the minutes until dawn, saw the sun come up and suddenly, I felt awake again! I knew that this was it. The last 12 miles of my first hundred. I used everything I could think of to keep my body moving forward, while my husband did everything that he could to lighten the mood and make me laugh! At this point, my feet felt completely raw and my calf was in knots. I repeated over and over “No pain, this is what I came for!” We passed my parents with just a few miles to go, and they reminded me to pick up my feet and move faster! We shuffled and counted steps all the way until I could see the finish line. In the last half mile of the race, I had imagined that I would be emotional thinking about all of the sacrifices and training that led up to this moment. But in reality, I was just too tired to even think. It wasn’t until I crossed the line and stopped running and the race director handed me my belt buckle that it finally felt real.

I spent so much time planning and training for this race that I never actually thought about how I might feel afterwards. In the first hour after the race, I was running on the adrenaline of just finishing 100 miles. I talked excitedly with my family while I drank chicken broth and tried to warm up. We even started talking about what hundred I might run next. Reality hit, as soon as I got home several hours later and I could barely walk! The next few weeks were pretty painful as my body recovered. Looking back at the race, I am re-engergized to do it again. The extreme highs, lows, lost toenails, exhaustion, pain and inspiring community are what bring me back for more. I just hope that my recovery is quicker next time!

“Everybody comes to a point in their life when they just want to quit. But it’s what you do at that moment that determines who you are.” -David Goggins