I have always been afraid of running in the dark alone. The best way to overcome a fear is to face it head on.  I signed up for The Burning River Back 50 because it started at 6pm. I knew that I would have to run all night alone to get to the finish line. It would force me to overcome my fear.

The Burning River 100 is put on by Western Reserve Racing. It was initially supposed to be held in July, but due to Covid, was pushed back until August. The full race is a 100 mile out and back race. It’s broken up into a point to point front mile race and a back 50 mile race. It wasn’t on my initial race schedule for the year. But by August, I was willing to sign up for anything!

One of the biggest challenges about running a night race is that I was forced to sit around all day and wait! I typically run first thing in the morning, so skipping my morning run left me feeling out of sorts. I tried to rest, as much as a parent to 2 young kids is able to rest, anyway! We left for the race at 5:15pm. At 5:50, we got out of the car and head to the starting line. Everyone was in a great mood! After months of Covid cancellations and delays, we were all just excited to be at an actual in-person race!

The Start- Mile 16

The first few miles went quickly. It was still hot but we were running on a mostly flat, paved path. So I was able to bank some time while it was still light out.  As I headed onto the trail into the woods, the sun started to go down, and darkness came quickly. I spent most of the next 6 miles or so alone, navigating the trail and reminding myself to take in calories. Around mile 12, we came up to a steep hill in an open field. I barely noticed the climb because being out there in the dark with the moon shining over the top of the hill was breathtaking.

As we once again headed back into the woods, I felt really good. I started down a steep, uneven staircase. My foot turned hard and I fell on top of it hearing a loud crunch. A runner had just come up behind me and pulled me up off of the ground. He asked what I need and I said I just needed to walk it off. He wasn’t feeling great either. So we chatted about our families for a few miles up until the next aid station.  My husband, Dave was there waiting for me. I told him about my ankle, and he assured me that I would be ok. I grabbed a few honey stinger waffles from him, threw on a long sleeve shirt, and he sent me on my way!  

At some point in the middle of the night…

Over the next 4 miles, I started to become overwhelmed with the darkness. I questioned myself about why I even chose to run at night when running in the daylight would have been so much easier.  There is always a point during an ultra where you begin to question why you’re out there. Usually for me it doesn’t come quite this early on in the race though.  My ankle hurt and I kept tripping over roots.

A few miles later, I came out of the woods to cross the road and saw that Dave was parked there waiting for me. He asked me how I was doing. I told him that my ankle was throbbing and I was struggling. Once again, he reminded me that my ankle would be fine. I just had to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Right there, I decided that I was done feeling sorry for myself. This was what I came for and it was time to figure it out! I started by thinking about the things that I could control in this situation.

Maybe I couldn’t control the pain or the fact that it was dark out. However, I could control how many calories I was taking in. I could also control keeping an eye out for trail markers so that I wouldn’t get lost. Most importantly, I could control my mindset. After a mile or so, I was enjoying myself again. I was in the moment, focused solely on moving forward and staying positive. No matter what.  

My eyes were starting to get heavy. So at the next aid station, I asked for a cup of coke for the caffeine. I left with 2 other runners who were running their first hundred. We chatted for a mile or so until they picked up the pace. Again, I was alone for the next 3-4 miles. I focused hard on the trail and became very aware of each course marking that I passed.  I came up to an ankle turning corn field on the side of a dark road. The course led me through the corn field, up to the road and back before heading onto the tow path.

The tow path was a welcome sight! It was smooth and easy to run. So I picked up the pace as much as I could and pushed through to the next aid station. Once I got back in a rhythm, I felt great! I refused to let my mind wander to who or what might be out at this time of the night. Eventually, I came to a trail that looked familiar! I have spent some time hiking with my Dad at Oak Hill so I knew where I was which was so comforting. I also knew that that I was somewhat close to the aid station in the parking lot where Dave would meet me again.

Mile 26

Once I got there, Dave gave me new water bottles and stuffed some more snacks into my pack. Once again assuring me that my ankle would be just fine and sent me on my way. From here, I came out to a rolling, open road. It was completely dark and there was no other runners in sight. Self doubt threatened my thoughts. I really had to take control my my mind at this point.

I could see lightening in the distance and shadows covered the road. On any other day, I would have been very afraid being out at this time of night. But in a race, I know that I have to control the controllable. So I started to talk out loud which was comforting.  There was a long stretch of miles where I was on the open road, back into the trails and then back onto the road again. It went on like this for a long time and I didn’t see another person for miles.

Just after the last aid station, my spirits were high again as I saw Dave again at the top of the hill. He once again asked how I felt. I said “Easy Day, I feel amazing”! Everything hurt and I was exhausted. But the body believes what the mind tells it.

Mile 49-50

Near 7am, I realized that I was about a mile from the finish. I believe that we always have more to give. So I started picking up my feet and running as hard as I could. I crossed the finish line and finished the race off with my fastest mile of the day.

Post Race

After the race, my ankle was swollen and I could barely walk on it for a few hours. It was worth it though. There was no way that I was going to drop out, even with a sprained ankle. I ran the Back 50 to see what I was made of. I welcomed any obstacle that stood in my way. Now more than ever, I’m convinced that we are all capable of so much more than we believe. Sometimes we just need to test ourselves and come out on the other side even stronger.