In the past, I have been resistant to the idea of running a virtual race. But with no upcoming races in sight, I needed something to get excited about, something to jump start my training. The Rise Up Virtual Ultra popped up on my Instagram feed earlier this week, and I knew right away that I wanted to enter.

Here’s the concept: Run for 6 hours straight, don’t stop your watch for any reason, and upload your results through ultrasignup.com. Pretty straight forward. They also offer 12 hour, 60k, 100 mile and 200 mile race options. The deadline to complete your race is June 30th. I was definitely tempted by the 12 hour race but decided to ease back into racing with the 6 hour option.

The morning of the race, I woke up at 5:30am, grabbed some light food, and got to work setting up my mini aid station in the driveway. I stocked it with Tailwind, Spring Energy Gels, and chocolate chip cookies. When everything was in place and I felt ready, I started my watch and took off. It was 6:37am.

Hour 1

The first few miles felt slow. I was already getting in my head, counting down the miles I had left to reach my goal of 30 miles. Never a good way to start off a race. I reminded myself that I’ve gotten through every other ultra that I’ve entered by taking it one mile at a time, and staying in the moment.

Hours 2-3

5 miles into the Rise Up Virtual Ultra, I met up with my friend Kristin, who agreed to join me for a few hours of my race. We headed towards the Olentangy Bike Trail, talking and getting caught up on the week’s events. Having someone to talk to made the miles fly by, and I felt really strong at this point.

Hour 4

Kristin and I parted ways right around mile 18. After this, I called my husband to check in, and he said that he and my two daughters were out for a walk on the next street over. As they came into view, they cheered me on, along with some of my neighbors. My oldest daughter even joined me for a few minutes of the run! Seeing them gave me a burst of energy and reminded me of why I search for my limits through running.

Hour 5

At the beginning of hour 5, I started to hit a wall. My lower back started to get sore and my legs felt heavy. Right after I hit mile 20, I called my mom for some encouragement. We talked for about a mile, and she reminded me to focus on my form and pick up my feet, both helpful suggestions for a tired runner. After the call, I started to feel better. One more quick stop back at my aid station for some coke and water, and I moved straight into hour 6.

Hour 6

As I started the last hour, I began to think about perception. No matter what the race distance is, be it a half marathon or a hundred, the last few miles feel hard. During the Indiana Trail 100, I felt great at mile 25. Yet, here I was today at mile 25 and I was suffering.

The mind will always tell you that everything hurts. It will try to convince you to stop running and go back home, to sit down and be comfortable. The decision to finish a race or quit isn’t just about getting a medal, or bragging rights, or a PR on Strava. The decision is a choice between comfort and growth.

My legs ached with pain. I was hungry from not taking in enough calories and I was ready to sit down. Despite this, nothing could have stopped me from finishing. I chose growth. I called my husband to tell him that I only had about 25 minutes left. He said, “Good job. Now see if you can push yourself and surpass your goal of 30 miles.” I knew he was right. There is always more left to give. I kept running, and finished The Rise Up Virtual Ultra with 30.78 miles in 6 hours.

After the Race

Luckily, I finished just as my kids were going down for nap time. I was able to shower and lay down for a few minutes, until hunger got the best of me. My stomach felt like a bottomless pit for the rest of the day, which is pretty typical after a long run. I ended up going on a couple walks with my family, which loosened things up, and probably helped with my recovery. I ended up talking to several neighbors who were pretty confused as to why they saw me run past their house multiple times over the course of the morning. It’s always kind of fun hearing other people’s perspective, and reminds me that what we do isn’t exactly normal!

The next morning, I felt surprisingly good. Both my knees were a little achy, but other than that, things felt ok! In signing up for the Rise Up Virtual Ultra, I never doubted that I could reach my goal. It’s been a few months since I’ve run that far, and I knew that jumping up from a 12 mile long run to a 30+ mile race was risky, but I think that the body remembers distance. It’s the mind that usually needs more convincing.

Up next…Mohican 50 (unless it gets cancelled).

You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot choose both. – Brene Brown

So obviously my 50 mile race for March was cancelled and the upcoming races on the schedule are in question. I decided that with no upcoming race in sight, I would take two weeks off of running to let some old injuries heal. As most runners know, the thought of taking any time off of running is terrifying. How would I cope with the stress in my life, especially considering everything that is happening in the world currently?

I honestly don’t know how I could have achieved all of my goals this year, if I hadn’t given my knee the time it so desperately needed, to rest and let the inflammation go down. That worry was in the back of my mind during every long run and every hard workout. It was exhausting.

I realized that I could let this get me down or I could choose to look at it differently. Instead of getting up to run every morning, I started doing Pure Barre and yoga from home and getting out for walks as often as I could. Im strengthening my mind and body from the ground up.

I started running again 3 weeks ago and am building my mileage gradually. This time, pain free. I’ve kept up with the added yoga and strength training and I feel stronger than I have in a long time. It’s not easy to get up every day and work out when you don’t have a race on the schedule. It’s as much a mental challenge as it is physical. Despite this, getting out for a run adds some much needed normalcy to the day.

During my runs lately, I let my mind wander to the possibilities of the future. I plan what I can do today to ensure that 2020 ends on a strong note. My one big goal race of the year is the Rim to River 100 on November 7th. I don’t know if it will happen or not. But I can make sure that if it does, I will be at the starting line more prepared than I ever have been. And if it doesn’t happen, there will always be another race. I will have lost nothing by putting myself out there every day, pushing to see what I am capable of.

The unknown is always scary and there has been plenty of unknown lately. If you can take it one hour at a time, one day at a time, one mile at a time, eventually you will get to the finish line.

A race is a both a test of your training and your reward for it. On Sunday, I ran the Rocks and Roots Trail Series 30k. It was my first race since the Indiana Trail 100 and I went in with very few expectations. Over the past month, I’ve been focusing on increasing my speed and strength, adding in rowing and Pure Barre classes twice a week. Rather than setting a time goal, my plan was to put my training to the test by pushing myself hard from the gun and to hold on for as long as I could.

1st Loop (North)

The course is set up as a figure 8, split into a north loop and a south loop. As we took off on the north loop, the temperature was clear and around 32 degrees, perfect race day weather. Everyone was excited to start moving, jockeying for position on the small bridges and boards, trying to avoid the mud and standing water in the first half mile.

As we settled in, I felt at ease pushing to a pace that hadn’t felt even remotely comfortable in the past. It felt effortless, and my mind wandered to the endless possibilities of my upcoming goals this year. I’m pretty sure I had a smile on my face the entire loop because I was just so happy to be out on the trails racing again. Even a quick fall over a tree branch didn’t phase me and I finished the first 10k in 1:14, ran straight through the aid station and started on the South loop.

2nd Loop (South)

On the South loop, there are multiple stream crossings and tons of downed trees across the trail. As I started into the loop, I chatted with a few other runners about their upcoming races and kept pushing.

I started losing momentum about a mile in, slowing down to get over the fallen trees and wading through the first stream crossing. At this point, I began to get in my head. Questioning how long I could keep up this pace, and also noticing the aches and pains starting to creep in. This led to losing my footing on the technical terrain because I was losing focus on the trail.

This is the battle that we all fight in a race of any length. Can we overcome those voices in our head that tell us that we can’t do it? Luckily, I was able to catch myself and end the downward spiral fairly quickly. I knew that my husband and kids were waiting for me at the end of the loop. Seeing them cheering me on reminded me to get out of my head, be in the moment, keep moving forward and work harder to stay positive.

3rd Loop (North)

As I re-traced the North loop, the temperature had risen to a comfortable 38 degrees. The ground was now soft and there was no way around the mud that now covered the trail. I did my best to stay on my feet, often sliding down the slick declines.

I kept up my pacing until around mile 14 or so when I hit a root with my shoe and turned my ankle. As I yelled out in pain and slowed to a walk, a runner came up behind me and asked if I was OK. I let her know that I just needed a second to shake it off, and she could pass by me. Instead of going by, though, she stayed with me. In a minute or two I forgot all about my ankle as we continued on for the remainder of the race together.

In trail running, we are all out there to see what we are made of. To overcome those doubts that pass through the mind. It’s a race, but when you fall out there on the trails, there is almost always someone there to help you back up.

I finished the race in 4:05:08 which was 39 minutes faster than my time last year. I went into this race with very few expectations but I came of it motivated to work even harder.

Onto the next…50 Miles at The Get Lucky 50/50 on March 21st.

“You are only as mentally tough as your life demands you to be. An easy life fashions a mind that can only handle ease. A challenging life builds a mind that can handle challenge. Like a muscle that atrophies without use, mental strength fades unless it is tested. When life doesn’t challenge you, challenge yourself.“

-James Clear